COMICS: Wed. 1/12/05

Hero Squared: Keith Giffen has always been hit-and-miss with me, more often miss. But I really enjoyed this comic. Maybe it's his pairing with J.M. DeMatteis that elevates it (I don't know, I can't say I'm very familiar with DeMatteis). Or maybe it's because it's an original creation, unburdened with DC continuity. But I liked the characters, I liked the story (even though it sounds exactly like the plot of some movie I can't think of right now -- seriously, isn't there some movie just like this? Hero from another dimension crosses into our dimension to find his non-superpowered counterpart? No? Maybe I dreamed it), I liked the pop culture banter, and I laughed a number of times. (Like at the newspaper headline: "Bush Signs Literacy Bill -- Misspells Name.") The art is enjoyable, but rough; much like Phil Foglio's Girl Genius, it looks like xeroxes were made directly from the pencils, skipping the inking stage. And the cover, by Giffen, is tremendously ugly. It looks like he drew it with his wrong hand while on hold with the cable company.

Shaolin Cowboy: Not much story here, is there? Just beautiful, beautiful carnage. Geof Darrow's artwork is so exquisitely detailed, it took me several minutes to absorb one panel. Of course, it was an eight-page long panel, but still. The more I looked, the more I found to admire. But there's not much to the comic. It sure takes a different tack from all those first issues that are nothing but set-up, set-up, set-up. This drops us right into the middle of a completely unfathomable situation, with bizarre characters, and explains nothing. I liked it.

What If Aunt May Had Died Instead Of Uncle Ben?: A leftover from last week. It escaped my notice that Ed Brubaker had written it. I picked it up this week, and much like the other What Ifs... eh. It was a nice gimmick, framing it as a conversation between comic shop denizens, but the story overall didn't work for me. The circumstances under which Uncle Ben wound up in jail were a little too forced and contrived for me to buy. Just didn't care for it.

The Pulse: Yet another issue in which Jessica Jones bumbles around hysterically, saying, "I have no idea what's going on with this Secret War thing!" Well, neither do we, sister, and guess what? I'm now officially pissed off. This title is dropped. P.S.: The art sucked, too.

Fables: The end of the four-issue holding pattern, which I've actually been enjoying a great deal. A year has passed since Snow gave birth, and we learn there's a seventh baby she didn't know about. Hmm... seven? Seven children, very young, very short... you might even say they're dwarf-like in stature. Funny. Much as I've enjoyed these change-of-pace issues, I'll be glad to see what's going on with Bigby again (hopefully next issue).

The Punisher: Frank gets taken down by Mini-Lee. (Lee, Bruce.) What a revoltin' development. I still don't get what the plane-hijacking has to do with anything. I don't know if I'm missing something, or if it's just the muddled mess it seems to me. Whatever. As long as Nick Fury appears, grousing about the time he's wasting when he could be with his whores, I'm a happy reader.

Marvel Team-Up: I really liked the last issue. This one was a mess. The disparate plot threads are distracting and annoying, not intriguing. I'll stick around for the end of the storyline, but if things don't pick up in those two issues, I'll probably be dropping this title, too.

Haven't read yet: a Dan Slott two-fer, She-Hulk and Spider-Man/Human Torch. I'm really looking forward to the Ty Templeton art in the latter.

COMICS: Top Ten

Well, maybe it's not a top ten list, so much as some of my favorite things about comics loosely grouped together.

BEST SINGLE ISSUE

You think I'm going to say Eightball #23, don't you? Everybody says Eightball #23. Well, as you know if you read my original review, I liked it just fine, I really liked it, in fact, but it didn't own my world. That distinction belongs to Street Angel #2. Possibly the single funniest comic I have ever read, bursting with insanely inventive characters and situations and rich and clever dialogue, with humor both subtle and slapstick, I simply loved every inch of this book. (Caveat: I'm not even 100% sure it was released during 2004; maybe it was late 2003. But 2004 is when I first read it. So there.)

Honorable Mentions: Yes, yes, Eightball #23. You happy? Also, New Frontier #5. That was the issue that finally got me into the series. After waiting four issues to click into what everyone else was raving about, issue #5 blew my socks off. It was the best mainstream, superhero-type single issue of the year (is that enough qualifiers?).

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FAVORITE WRITER

At the beginning of the year, I might've said Robert Kirkman or Brian Bendis. But some lackluster extracurricular projects (Kirkman's 2099 and Captain America and Bendis' Avengers Disassembled) kind of took the shine off both those apples. Now, I think there's no question it's Brian K. Vaughan, whose Y: The Last Man has long been my favorite continuing series, whose Runaways was entertaining if light, and whose new Ex Machina is tremendous, funny and controversial and creepy and original.

Honorable Mention: James Kochalka, whose American Elf is the best graphic novel of the year (or TPB, or whatever the hell you want to classify it as), and whose Peanut Butter and Jeremy collection was cute and touching and a pure joy (though I'm pretty sure it came out last year, but I read it this year. So there. Again).

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FAVORITE CONTINUING SERIES

I just said it, right above! Y: The Last Man, much like one of my favorite TV shows, Lost, has a fantastic overarching mystery, several smaller mysteries generated by the fantastic supporting cast, and the ability to create genuine suspense with each issue's cliffhanger.

Honorable Mentions: Street Angel, Fables, She-Hulk, Girl Genius, Invincible.

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THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE WHAT THE HELL?? OF GRANT MORRISON

The Good: We3, my favorite limited series, is just lovely, some of the best visual storytelling I've ever seen (which is what makes Frank Quitely my favorite artist), with an animal cast that's all too human. Can't wait for the finish.

The Bad: The first issue of JLA: Classified did nothing but irritate me. I have no desire to get the second issue.

The What the Hell??: I did get the second issue of Seaguy, and I wished I hadn't. I was even more lost than after the first. I didn't bother with the third. As I've said before, I don't mind being challenged by a writer, but it bothers me when it seems the writer is mocking me with nonsense.

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FAVORITE LIMITED SERIES

I just said it! We3! Pay attention!

Honorable Mentions: The New Frontier, Challengers of the Unknown, and of course, some other thing I'm probably forgetting.

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BEST SERIES I'VE ONLY READ IN TPB SO FAR

Hard Time, just edging out Sleeper.

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BEST TREND FOR THIS YEAR

Getting the "fun" back into "funny books". You can take your Identity Crisis and go sulk and brood in your dark and gritty comics world. My favorite books of the year made me laugh. Street Angel, of course, led the pack (except for the boring PSA that was issue #4), as did another new B&W indie series, the terrifically funny Scurvy Dogs. Phil Foglio's Girl Genius continued in its always reliable comedic ways. And even the Big Two were able to stop scowling long enough to release Plastic Man (which was uneven, but more than worthwhile; the more recent issues have really been great, especially the one with President Lex Luthor channeling Dubya by way of Woozy Winks) and She-Hulk (my favorite Marvel title right now).

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BEST TREND FOR NEXT YEAR

Everything old is new again. Grimjack, my favorite comic ever, is coming back! The news that Ostrander and Truman were reviving the long-dormant (due to legal issues) series was my single favorite moment in comics this year. Oh yeah. Also returning in '05: Mike Baron's Badger, Peter David's The Incredible Hulk, and Howard Chaykin's American Flagg! (the last in TPB form only, not new issues, sadly, but still, that's some good news).

COMICS: A personal test

I bought eight comics today. I'm going to try to list them all. (The bag's sitting out in the car.) And if I can't remember one of them, I'm going to drop the title. If it's a bad one, I shouldn't have been getting it in the first place. If it's a good one, serves me right.

Today actually should be easier than usual. I'm pretty excited about the whole bundle.

We've got Ennis and Bendis, of course: Punisher and The Pulse. Punisher more than The Pulse I'm looking forward to; I still haven't quite broken the Bendis knee-jerk purchasing habit, but I think I have finally forced myself to dump Daredevil. Not that I mean to suggest I haven't been enjoying The Pulse; I have. It's just, how many Bendis comics do I need?

Then there's Kirkman: Marvel Team-Up (which I skipped last week because my eyes just brushed past the "MTU" on the cover. Muhtoo? I didn't want a comic called Muhtoo...), and The Walking Dead, which is pretty damn quick, the last issue was out just last week.

Peter David is represented: Madrox. It feels good to be buying a David title again. I dropped Fallen Angel fairly early on; something about it just didn't quite win me over. Can't wait for his return to The Incredible Hulk.

Then there's Ed Brubaker, with Captain America. I just suffered through Kirkman's lousy run on the title; why am I doing it again? I don't give a rat's ass about Captain America. But I'll give the Brubaker version a try, I guess. I'm a sucker.

Brian K. Vaughan's in there, with Ex Machina. I'm glad this series seems to be catching on. It's like the TV show Lost (which is big in the ratings) -- I'm relieved that for once the rest of the public seems to agree with me on a quality product.

And then there are the two "fun" books of the week, She-Hulk and Fantastic Four. And that should be the whole list!

Wait, that's nine. Did I miscount the comics in my bag? Or did I forget to buy something? (I know that I almost bought Matt Howarth's Bugtown, but didn't; it just didn't look as interesting as the old Post Bros. comics used to. But that's not what's messing up my count.) Usually I forget one of the comics I bought; this time I seem to be remembering one too many. Weird. Well, if it's nine, then more comic goodness for me! If it turns out I've got only eight: DAMMIT!

And on top of however many comics that is, I also got the final Peter Milligan X-Force TPB. Damn, I went crazy today. Good thing I won at poker this weekend!

COMICS: Wed. 11/10/04

Some quick notes on the comics I've read so far:

Challengers of the Unknown: Decent enough wrap-up. Although making Jan Boulton a man is kind of out of left field, and not really necessary -- that's your final commentary on Ann Coulter? She's mannish? Weak. And did I miss it: how did the moon base blow up? And did it kill the Hegemony or not? Well, obviously it didn't kill them, but were we supposed to think it killed them? Either I missed something (very likely) or that was very poorly presented. Also, the similar-sounding stilted dialogue of every character began wearing on me. Hmm, maybe it wasn't a decent enough wrap-up. Were there another series, I think I'd wait for the trades before deciding to get it or not.

Plastic Man: Dammit, I've gotta start looking more closely at the covers before buying these things. Scott Morse is no Kyle Baker. This was a really awful issue, filled with incessant obnoxious punning reminiscent of the Batman & Robin movie. Stupid fill-in issues!

Avengers: Finale: I liked the very ending, with the crowd at the memorial; extremely sappy, but effective. But the whole "best memories" section was lame. Every other character picked a "memory" he or she wasn't present for. Is it because they enjoyed so much hearing the stories from the Avengers who were there, as one character claimed? Or do you think it was because Bendis wanted to mention the landmark storylines in Avengers history, but he didn't have enough current members who were in those storylines to share their recollections, so he had to cheat and put those recollections in the mouths of other characters? I wonder. And that was a quick turn-around for Captain Britain: "I'll never forgive Wanda! Here's a toast to Wanda!"

Iron Man: This was a beautiful book. The artwork is really just amazingly gorgeous. I liked the confrontation between Tony Stark and the documentarian; a lot of great back-and-forth in that scene, with Tony sneaking in the final dig, pointing out the sheer futility of the filmmaker's career. I like that Tony is being forced to confront the destruction he's created with his inventions. Some nice character moments, too, especially the page with Tony looking at himself in the mirror. And I've never seen the wonder of flight expressed so well on a comics page. The wordless image of Iron Man arcing above the clouds was perfect. The villain looks interesting, too, but that may only be because of the artwork. As is the Marvel tradition, though, nothing of consequence really happens; the first issue is always warm-up, padding out the page count for the trade. But that's a minor fault. I gave this book a try just for the hell of it, and it's definitely hooked me.

COMICS: Wed. 10/13/04

After I complained yesterday about buying so many comics, I was very pleased that so many of them were so good.

The Hard Time TPB is excellent, as Dorian, Ken, and others have been saying all along. And it's such a great value -- ten bucks for six issues. It's a unique take on the superpower genre: a 15-year-old's powers manifest just before he's locked in prison, likely for the rest of his life. I had some quibbles -- why was he convicted in the first place, if even the cops (as his lawyer says) admit he never fired his gun, or at least why was he not convicted of a lesser charge, rather than the full murder counts; and, however much I appreciate his sarcastic humor, it's in no way believable that a kid could be so flip to the other convicts and not get killed 87 times before sundown on his first day, powers or not. But the rough situation, which I don't think has ever been portrayed so extensively, or so well, in mainstream comics before, and the sharply defined and interesting characters make this a fantastic read.

The Authority: More Kev: Good, funny stuff, especially the Midnighter's confrontations with idiot Kev. I'd be upset if someone threw a nuclear bomb in my face, too.

Demo: Eh. There was an interesting twist toward the end, but I wasn't invested enough in the characters to be shocked or say, "Whoa!" Instead, I think I said, "Huh." Let me go back: yeah, that was the extent of my reaction. "Huh." I doubt I'll get the next issue; might get the final issue the month after.

Fables: Very funny issue. The expression of Snow's face as she says, "A litter? I'm having a litter?" is just priceless. I'm glad Buckingham is back and the story is moving forward again.

Captain America: Limp ending to a lame arc. So it was a SHIELD-designed robot replica of Diamondback? Dude, whatever. One order of machina, extra deus on top. And what's with that ending: "Maybe we should just get a room." When did Steve Rogers turn into the Mack? Kirkman really disappointed me on this book.

She-Hulk: This continues to be one of my favorites. I love the non-traditional, but clean and appealing art. I love the humor. I love the characters. I love that after Jen finds Drax the Destroyer, the Silver Surfer, et al. have all been defeated already, she says, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." I love that the Silver Surfer's board has a splint on it. A splint! You know you've been in a fight when your surfboard needs a splint. This book is a big bundle of fun. Pick it up; don't let it get cancelled.

Challengers of the Unknown: Maybe I should've waited for the TPB. Chaykin's stories are packed with so much plot and characters, they just read better when you can go through them all at once. I think this was the best issue since the first, with plans and motivations revealed; I'm curious to see if Chaykin can wrap it all up satisfactorily in the one remaining issue. And what was with the Ann Coulter surrogate, Jan Boulton, quitting her job at the Fox News-type network? Was that explained in this issue, or was it set-up for the next?

Secret War: Three issues in and we still don't know what the hell is going on. I guess Bendis is planning on keeping the war a secret from the readers as well. The art is gorgeous; it's a shame it doesn't have a story worthy of it. What little story there is: I couldn't believe that four pages after the staples, the middle of the book, the story abruptly ended. The staples mean you've got half the book left, not four goddam pages. What a rip-off. And I really wasn't pleased that a phone transcript between Captain America and SHIELD, a conversation which was wisely left out of the main story because it was boring and pointless, took up seven goddam pages of the book. You're working my last fucking nerve, Bendis.

Powers: And yet I still enjoyed this book. Walker follows one sick and twisted false lead, and Pilgrim -- wow. That was one surprise ending. Well, it surprised the hell out of me, anyway. I think I need to cut my monthly Bendis intake back to this and... well, just this. (I already only get the TPBs of Ultimate Spider-Man.)

Ex Machina: Like She-Hulk, another book everyone should get. Smart, surprising, funny, cool, controversial. It's great stuff. The snowplow-driver serial killer storyline came to an unexpectedly sudden, and not entirely satisfactory end, but the bits with Kremlin, and the flashbacks, continue to fascinate me, as do the political maneuverings. This Brian Vaughan kid, he might have a career in comics.

COMICS: Holy Crap

I just topped the $70 mark at the comic store. Mother of pearl! That needs to not happen again any time soon. Over half of that is two TPBs; James Kochalka's American Elf, collecting the daily strips from his website for the last, like, 87 years -- seriously, it's a fat book, and priced to match ($29.95) -- and Hard Time, which many people have been recommending to me for a while now (and it's quite a bargain -- six issues for $9.95).

But then I got nine other comic books. Criminy! A year ago, I didn't buy nine titles total. Nine in one week is pretty damn excessive. For me, anyway. I bet I couldn't even name them all without looking. Let's try:

Powers
She-Hulk
Demo (because I didn't pick it up last week)
Captain America
Fables
Challengers of the Unknown
Ex Machina
Secret Wars

Um... I'm stalling out. That's eight, one left. Damn. I can tell you I didn't get Punisher; I'm still waiting for that awful, never-ending current story arc to wrap up (I think this was its last issue).

JESUS! This is just disgraceful. I'm spending money on titles I can't even remember two minutes after looking at 'em. I need to cut back on my comics purchases, and cut back hard. Okay, I can't stand the suspense, I'm gonna go look.

It was The Authority: More Kev. Well, at least that's the last of the four issue series. That's one off my list. And I was going to drop Captain America after this one, if I still didn't like Robert Kirkman's writing, but then Dorian told me that this is Kirkman's last issue anyway. "Oh good, I can drop it!" I said. "Ed Brubaker's writing it next," he said. "Crap," I said. Guess I'm not dropping it yet.

Man, looking at the first eight -- if I had to force myself to cut half of them, it'd be a tough choice. Okay, Cap would be pretty easy. Probably Challengers would be next (I'm guessing it'd read better as a TPB, anyway), then Demo (which I like, but don't absolutely love the way some bloggers seem to), and probably Secret Wars would be the last, because one Bendis title should be enough for any one week.

I've got a lot of comic reading to do tonight. Plus about 20 hours of Farscape on tape. Not to mention the TiVo backlog. And I still haven't finished the new Stephen King, or even America (The Book). I'm poor and friendless, I guess is my point. Bummer.

COMICS: More Wed. 9/29/04

Daredevil: Hey, an oversized issue with two whole pages of story! Gee, thanks, Mr. Bendis! You're the swellest! Actually, I didn't really expect anything other than that from an anniversary issue. It was actually pretty darn entertaining, with some gorgeous art. But using all those different artists really made me wish someone, anyone else would do the regular artwork other than Maleev. After Bachalo, P. Craig Russell and co., Maleev's two pages at the end looked even crappier to me than his art usually does. I enjoyed the bits with Spider-Man and Dr. Strange, I really got a kick out of the Punisher sequence, even if the character doesn't quite feel right when not written by Ennis, and I would've enjoyed the Nick Fury bit more if Bendis didn't have him do that hesitant, repeating words thing like he does for every other character. Wow, I'm complaining that Bendis makes some characters sound the same. I bet I'm the first person ever to do that.

Amazing Spider-Man: Dude, whatever. Gwen Stacy screwed Norman Osborn? I buy that. Yeah, because that's so in keeping with her character. She was the queen of the mercy fucks, that girl was. Maybe she was under mind control. Or she was a clone! Yeah, that's the ticket. This whole issue was one big "fuck you" to long-time fans. Thanks a crapload, Straczynski. Seriously, I don't get into that fannish, "that betrays the characters and history" thing very much, because, well, it's stupid. But I have to say: that betrays the characters and history. This all better be a dream sequence or something. Love the art, though.

Invincible: Good issue, setting up some interesting future plots. I like the crossover with the big alien invasion from Brit last month. (Is that going through all the Image titles? Or just the Kirkman ones?) Robot's about ready to snap, I think.

New Frontier: Pretty great ending to a series that took a long time to win me over, but finally did in a big way. I absolutely love that Flash and Green Lantern were the big heroes. Very, very cool. And nice tie-in with the first JLA adventure at the very end. I need to read this whole series again.

COMICS: Wed. 9/15/04

Just so I have something to post today, here's a quick list of today's purchases, and my judgments based solely on the covers:

Strange: Straczynski. I'm a sucker.

Daredevil: Bendis. I'm a sucker.

Wanted: Millar. At least I'm not sucker enough to buy the special edition reprints of this thing. Seriously, what kind of chumps shell out for that kind of nonsense? I'm sticking with this series only because it's almost done. Despite his best efforts, Millar has failed to make interesting a comic in which every single character is irredeemably contemptible.

Fantastic Four: Stupid freakin' Disassembled crossover. Hopefully it only mentions the Avengers foofaraw in passing, and just gets on with the regular storyline.

Madrox: Peter David. Aw yeah. The only X-title I've been really interested in since David's run on X-Force. Even Grant Morrison's X-Men run merely got me to buy the comic, but never really got me excited about it. I can't wait to read this issue. In fact, I'm gonna do that right now. I'm outta here.

[EDIT: I mean, X-Factor. As Shane from Near Mint Heroes correctly commented, I got my X-titles mixed up. I blame society.]

COMICS: I do it all for you, gentle reader

Today at CBR, Larry Young's Loose Cannon column asks the following question of several comics bloggers:

Comics blogs seem to be a "what have you done for me lately" sort of thing in terms of attention, readership, and import. Cranking out content for eyeballs seems to weigh more one side than the other when it comes to telling both sides of a complex issue. How do you see your blog in relation to who you perceive as its audience?

Inexplicably, my response was left out of the article. (Possibly because I wasn't asked for one.) So, from the cutting room floor, my response:

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Thanks for asking, first of all. It's always nice to be appreciated.

Second, my audience, judging from my referrer logs, appears to be about half people looking for pictures of Misty May's butt, while the other half -- and this is a subtle distinction -- is people looking for pictures of Misty May's ass.


I have no idea why.

But my role as I perceive it is to examine comic books from a point of view that my audience can identify with. Therefore, "Does this comic have a lot of asses in it?" is a question I will often ask of myself. Usually right out loud, in public. Sometimes in church. Fortunately, the answer is generally "Yes." (Or, "Please leave, you're disrupting the baptism.")

With the question of quantity resolved, I can then move on to quality. Are the asses shapely? Do the asses have superpowers? Do the asses talk? If Bendis is writing, do the asses talk way too much? Are the asses clad in form-fitting spandex, or possibly thongs? Are there any naked asses? Is one of them the Incredible Hulk's? Do the asses figure into the plot? If so, how? And is Chuck Austen writing this comic? Would this comic even exist if it were not for the asses? If not, is this comic Gen-13?

It certainly is a complex issue, Larry. And I have to admit I cover it from one side only: the backside. In fact, I'm even thinking of renaming my blog: You Know What I Like? Asses.

COMICS: Wed. 8/18

Taking a breather from my Olympics coverage (don't all cheer at once) to go over this week's comics haul. And it was a pretty decent-sized one.

Demo #8 & #9: I liked both issues, but I have the feeling I would've liked them better if I hadn't read them back to back. It feels like they're going over the exact same territory. Hell, the whole series may be going over the same territory; the only other issue I've read is #1. And all of the issues I've read are moving, sometimes sweet, sometimes painful, sharply observed examinations of relationships (with a little supernatural thrown in). They all feel real -- but they also all feel the same. Possibly the other issues branch out in different directions, but #8 and #9 are both about the exact same thing, a couple breaks up. Sure, one is by way of suicide -- but still, the story structure is the same: a woman explains (post-mortem in the latter case) to a man why they can't be together anymore. It's good writing, and I'll probably pick up the next issue, too; I just hope the writer has another trick up his sleeve.

Ex Machina: Brian K. Vaughan continues to keep my interest, although the bad guy is so far poorly defined and without any real sense of threat. It's the politics that make this series compelling, and I'm glad it hasn't degenerated into superhero punch-em-up yet.

She-Hulk: ...like this comic. I kind of get the feeling the writer is under pressure to make the series more reader-friendly with this two-parter, which featured new, more traditional artwork, and a big superhero punch-em-up. This one was down from the high standards set in previous issues. I hope Jen returns to the courtroom next time.

Plastic Man: Intermittently funny, but a mess overall, like Baker was just throwing out ideas as they occurred to him. The "Abraham Lincoln must die!" story crossed over from absurdly funny to kind of creepy pretty quickly, and the wrap-up was abrupt and sloppy.

Invincible: In the letter column, Kirkman calls this issue the big one, the one he's been waiting for. Really? Hm. I thought it was the worst issue of the series. Kirkman is starting to stretch himself way too thin -- like, Bendis thin. What's he writing, five comics now, counting the upcoming Marvel Team-Up? I'm afraid the quantity will make the quality suffer.

Daredevil: Speaking of which... This is in my "Why am I still buying this?" category. Why am I still buying this?

Supreme Power: See above. I can't fucking believe there are spin-offs from this series already -- and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED IN IT. Why am I still buying it?!?

Girl Genius: Decent, not great. I love that it came out so quickly after the previous issue -- by which I mean, not five months late -- and I liked that some backstory about Wulfenbach and the Heterodyne Bros. was revealed, but overall, just an average issue of a way above average series.

Fantastic Four: I've already seen some people grousing about this issue. I thought it was great, especially after the ho-hum previous story. I like that we're seeing Johnny back in the business office of FF Inc., I loved Ben's "Human Torch" costume, and the menace from above was the kind of cosmic, epic threat that often brings out the best in the Fantastic Four.

Runaways: Last week, I finally picked up the TPB of the first four issues, and I really liked it. I should've known I would, what with Vaughan's track record. I don't like the digest size of the book, though; my eyes are bad enough without having to make out the print at 60% size (or whatever it is). I love it when I finally check out a book everyone's been talking about, and, if I like it, there's a whole load of back issues I can get all at once.

COMICS: Wed. 8/4/04

I'm late on this week's comics reviews, but I have a valid excuse: I was absolutely overwhelmed with the sheer volume of new comics I purchased this week. I truly went overboard. I mean, here's the list:

1) Y: The Last Man

Oh, I guess that's it. So really, I have no excuse, and I'm just a lazy bastard.

Here's my review:

I liked it. Naked butts are funny. The end.

Okay, wait, I've got one or two other thoughts. Number one is, of course, what a great ending it was. After 25 issues, it's about damn time we saw what Beth was up to in Australia! Now, I just hope they don't drop her for another 25 issues. I get the feeling the next arc will feature Beth in a big way, though Dorian, for one, does not -- he tells me that solicitation info for the next issues indicates it's more adventures with Yorick, this time in San Francisco. Well, Vaughan can switch back and forth from Yorick to Beth, can't he?

Also, I get the feeling a lot of people were a little unhappy with this two-part story, but I enjoyed it, both for Yorick reaching a big milestone (the last man on Earth finally gets laid! Geez, Abe Vigoda would've gotten lucky before this guy), the shots Vaughan (via Beth #2) took at the Left Behind books in part one, and just the overall feel that this was a breather between bigger stories. It was a fine change of pace -- but I'm ready for something big to happen next.

Other stuff I bought:

Ultimate X-Men: The New Mutants TPB, which I haven't read yet. It's Bendis, I had to get it. It's a sickness.

PvP at large, which I have read, and which had me laughing out loud many times. Kurtz has a great cartooning style (although I noticed in this book that some of his lines look a little rough-edged, possibly due to transferring the strips from computer to print; I don't know for sure if he does all his art directly on the computer, but I kind of assume he does, which unfortunately results in a little pixellation-blur in the printing process), and the jokes are funnier for the characters' facial expressions (sometimes just a raised eyebrow works) and well-developed personalities.

The New Frontier, issues 4 and 5. I'd gotten the first and second issues because of all the wild praise they were getting, and I wasn't blown away. I dropped the book, but then Ian and Corey were raving about it at the store on Wednesday, so I decided to give it another shot -- no copies of #3 were to be found, though. I read #4 last night, and liked it better than the first two, but still, I'm not feeling the overwhelming love for it everyone else is. Maybe when I get all six, I'll appreciate it more. This is a lot of money I'm investing in a hunch (that I will gain appreciation for it); I mean, it's seven damn bucks a pop! I am looking forward to reading #5 tonight, because I know Hal Jordan is finally getting his Green Lantern ring, and I've heard all about the Wonder Woman/Invisible Jet sequence, which sounds really cool.

COMICS: Wed. 7/28/04

Avengers: As a long-time non Avengers fan, I don't even know what to make of this. I'm totally buying it only because Bendis is writing it. Okay, before anything else, I have to say, TWO double-page spreads of the Avengers Mansion blowing up seems excessive. I barely know most of these characters, but Bendis does a decent job of giving them personalities before the shit starts to fly; the Hawkman/Madame Hydra bit is funny and believable, and got an extra kick from his turning it around on She-Hulk (even though I know from her own comic that she doesn't even live in Avengers Mansion anymore... details, details). So, Ant-Man's dead. Moment of silence, please (in which I try to remember who the hell Ant-Man is. I thought Hank Pym was Ant-Man. Who's this guy? Was he the guy dating Jessica a year ago in Alias?). And the Vision crashes into the Mansion, melts like the Wicked Witch of the West, and coughs up Ultron hairballs. Cool.

All that's interesting enough, but it's the personality changes in other characters that really intrigues me. What is making Tony Stark feel like he's drunk? What is driving She-Hulk berserk (and causing her to rip the Vision in half and pummel Captain America senseless -- which, as bad as the situation is, was still completely badass)? This issue has gotten me hooked. I'll stick around for more of this Disassembled nonsense, even though I hate crossovers and don't really care about the Avengers. By which I mean, I'll stick around for the books written by the good writers, like Bendis and Kirkman. (Assuming Kirkman's next issue of Captain America is better than his first.)

Powers: Am I supposed to remember who this new girl who's dressing up as Retro Girl is? Cause I don't. Is this a character that was introduced ages ago, or is she brand new, and I shouldn't feel bad about not recognizing her? Second issue of the reboot wasn't as excellent as the first; Oeming's art looks rushed in places, and Bendis draws out the interrogation scenes a little too long (Bendis padding a story? Shocking!). But it's still a good issue.

The Walking Dead: The new artist is starting to bug me. Tony Moore was so excellent at creating detailed, individual characters; with Charlie Adlard, I can hardly tell one character from another. Which bearded man is this? And Kirkman's foreshadowing was a little blunt: Carol is suddenly content, and accepting of things she had so recently condemned; I'm sure she's going to live a nice, long, happy life. As long as a zombie doesn't eat her face... oh, DAMN!! Didn't see that coming!!

Fantastic Four: This storyline had potential in the beginning, but I was disappointed with this finale. First of all, strange as it may be to say it, what with my constant criticism of the padding of Marvel arcs out to unnecessary lengths: this issue felt rushed and crowded; it might have been better with one more issue to wrap things up. Then again, that might only have added one more unenjoyable issue to the story. Waid seemed to lose his control of the villain characters; instead of the interesting individuals they started out as, they fell back into corny villain cliches at the end. I stopped caring about Cole and stopped believing in her mini-romance with Johnny. Glad there's a new story next issue.

Astonishing X-Men: Last week, it took me forever to remember one of the comics I had bought. Same thing this week, and this was the comic. Still not astonished by it. The art, yes; the art is gorgeous. But the writing... I want to like it, because it's Whedon, but I just don't. The conflict in this issue is especially contrived: I didn't for a second believe that Wolverine and Beast would attack each other full-out, claws bared, smashing through the walls of the school, because of that stupid serum. Not for a second. It was so blatantly, "we need a fight scene, who would it be cool to see fighting?" And would any student, anywhere, ever, actually ask a teacher, "Are you a fucking retard?" (And not get the shit kicked out of him.) I guess I'm sticking with this book because I want to believe it could be great, even though it isn't even close yet.

COMICS: Wed. 7/21/04

Slow week for me at the comic shop. Other than the Hush TPB I wrote about yesterday, I only got three comics, which is probably a change for the better; I've been spending way too much on comics recently. Yeah, like I'm really gonna cut back.

Plastic Man: Glad Kyle Baker is back. I think I'm going to enjoy this story more than his first arc. It's lighter, goofier, funnier, more enjoyable over all. No hint of that jarring darkness Baker introduced in the early issues: who wants to read a Plastic Man story involving the gut-wrenching death of his best friend Woozy Winks? (Sure, Woozy got better, but still -- it was Plastic Man with an edge, which is so wrong in every definition of the word.) Seeing Abraham Lincoln slap Wonder Woman's ass in this new issue was definitely worth the cover price.

Ex Machina: Good, smart stuff. And, hey, here's Abraham Lincoln again! Slightly different context, though. Now that was a bit shocking, wasn't it? I enjoyed that central debate -- is it right to censor something that has the potential to provoke actual violence? -- but it felt like an extended tangent, irrelevant to the story. Are they going anywhere with this? I also enjoy that the superhero costume only appears in flashback: I'd rather see how a superpowered mayor deals in politics, than see just another costumed hero. Brian K. Vaughan is now officially one of my favorite writers, with this and Y: The Last Man. I may even have to check out what he's done with Ultimate X-Men when the TPB comes out.

It took me forever to remember the third comic I got was Daredevil. That probably doesn't say much about its entertainment value. I don't like that Ben Urich's uninformed diagnosis that Matt Murdock had a nervous breakdown has been so readily accepted as fact -- especially when, if you buy that theory, it took years for the breakdown to manifest, it lasted for more than a year, and upon Urich's diagnosis, Murdock apparently instantly cured himself by driving away his wife. And I've tolerated it for so long, but I finally reached the breaking point this issue: Alex Maleev's artwork is ugly. It's an eyesore. It makes the book a chore to read. I unequivocally hate it. If I drop this book -- and I'm getting fairly close to doing so -- it'll be 10% because of Bendis' story, which is, as always, padded to the breaking point, as well as patently ridiculous (Daredevil declares himself Kingpin and crime in Hell's Kitchen disappears -- because I guess now he's really beating up criminals, as opposed to all those other years he only kind of beat up criminals), 90% that hideous art.

COMICS: Batman: Hush

So, I finally picked up Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee's Batman: Hush -- or, at least, the first five chapters in trade paperback form. And, after that whole yearlong frenzy over the way they had revitalized Batman, and what a ripping good story, and blah de blah, I gotta say: this is what all the fuss was about?

Really?

This?

I know, I can't judge fairly, having only read five of the twelve issues that make up the story -- but here I go anyway.

First of all, let me complain about the story being published in separate volumes in the first place. What a blatant money-grubbing scam. DC couldn't fit a measly 12 issues in one TPB? If they don't release the remaining seven issues in one book, if they actually plan on splitting this into three volumes, I think I'll decide, to hell with DC, and to hell with this story.

I'm almost at "to hell with this story" as is. And people complain about Bendis padding his stories! I mean, lots of characters do lots of things, but the actual amount of story that was advanced in this collection could've been easily condensed to one, maybe two issues. But Jeph Loeb loves showboating, he loves building issues around a particular character on the cover, so that his anemic plots can be stretched out over a year. Been doing it since The Long Halloween. His ongoing series, Superman/Batman, is less gimmicky in that fashion, but even there, he loves his guest stars, and he loves taking his sweet time.

I think Loeb is vastly overrated as an author. He's better at generating attention with "events" than at the actual writing part of the job. His dialogue and his stories are often corny, awkward, heavy-handed, ridiculously flamboyant, repetitive, and humorless.

No, but tell us what you really think, Tom?

He does sucker me in with the events, though, I have to admit. Over in Batman/Superman (which one is supposed to be billed first? Do they take turns every other issue?), I loved the return of Lex Luthor's green and purple power suit. I loved the return of Supergirl (at the beginning, before it started dragging). And, though I didn't buy the single issues, I couldn't wait for Hush to be collected in a book (a softcover book, screw that hardback nonsense) so I could see what all the buzz was about.

And this is it? The mysterious villain the whole story has been built around, Batman's bandage-faced nemesis, has so far committed the diabolical acts of... cutting Batman's bat-rope, and shooting out one of his bat-tires. Ooooh, what a chilling menace he is!

Meanwhile, there's a bunch of nonsense about Killer Croc and Poison Ivy either knowingly or unknowingly working for "Hush" (that is what they wind up calling the villain, isn't it? Because, in the five issues I've read, he still hasn't been named), and flashbacks built around Bruce Wayne's childhood friend Tommy Elliot that scream "red herring" so obviously that I'm jarred out of the story each time ("Just try and kill me," says young Bruce to young Tommy; "I can always think like you," says young Tommy to young Bruce; "Lay it on a little thicker, why don't you," says I to Loeb). Plus, Batman punches Superman and makes out with Catwoman, which, frankly, is fan fiction-level wish fulfillment. "Dude, wouldn't it be sweet if Batman used kryptonite to fight Superman?? Again??? And, like, he should totally bone Catwoman, too!!! I am so gonna post that on the forums tonight!!!"

Plus I hate the sound effects. Yes, that's right, I'm nitpicking at the sound effects. A writer writes all the sound effects in a comic, doesn't he? Look at some of the ones Loeb uses: DUSCHK, HAMD, BAX, SWAG ("SWAG"?), BDOK, BERKSCH, DUSSHK (maybe that's just a misspelling of "DUSCHK"), DTUSH. Those aren't sound effects, those are bad draws in Scrabble. I mean, "HAMD"? That's the sound of brass knuckles to Huntress' skull? "HAMD"?

And everything has a sound effect. Batman's batarang has to go "ZIP" not once, not twice, but three times around Croc's mouth. A knife cutting a newspaper has to go "SLIKT" (twice). A doctor opening the door to the O.R.: "BOOM". Me reading the 8,000th sound effect in three pages: "ARRGHH!!"

Other than that, though, it was okay.

Because there's the art. The art. I'm not enough of a cynic about that whole Image crowd to deny that Jim Lee does some damn excellent artwork. (Almost, though -- my disdain for Todd McFarlane and Rob Liefeld runs pretty deep, tainting many of those around them as well.) That's a lot of lovely detail, and some great, inventive, visceral action scenes. And he sure do love drawing women's asses, don't he? Jim Lee is why I'll get the next volume of Hush.

Let me remind you, by the way, that I don't know how this storyline ends. I've intentionally avoided as much internet chat about it as possible, and despite the fact that I already found out there's some Jason Todd stuff coming up (that was nice and subtle, by the way, having bandage-face stand next to the first five letters of the sign on the "Robinson's" building in issue 3), and despite how much I've complained about the writing -- try to avoid spoilers if you comment. Thanks.

COMICS: Wed. 7/14/04

I just spent over an hour on a comics post that just got obliterated because Blogger's "improvements" to their post creation form are buggy as hell and suck copious amounts of ass. I even right-clicked and saved the text as a precaution: the crash still erased it all. Blogger is a severely shitty site.

GOD DAMN IT!!!

I'm so furious I can't even attempt to recreate the post now. I'm done. Here, here's my frickin' update: Street Angel is awesome, The Punisher and Superman/Batman need to finish their tedious current storylines right now, the finish of the Wooden Soldiers story in Fables was surprisingly disappointing, Chaykin's Bite Club is just okay, while his Challengers of the Unknown is excellent, visually exciting with a compelling story, though the characters are all underdeveloped so far, and The Pulse was typical Bendis, meaning the story is padded beyond belief, but I still liked it, the dialogue, and the characters.

And I haven't yet read She-Hulk, Robert Kirkman's debut on Captain America, Scurvy Dogs, and Eightball.

God damn lousy Blogger.

COMICS: Thurs. 7/8/04

I was going to do my comics post a day late this week, since they were released a day late due to the Monday holiday, but looks like I can squeeze this post in tonight. Four new comics this week; may contain spoilers for readers slower than I am.

Supreme Power: I've been borderline on this series for a while. The concept itself is, of course, a revision of an old rip-off of the JLA, and I've seen plenty enough of those as it is. And the story has been moving verrrry slowly. Almost Bendis slow. But things happened in this one that I liked: Mark Milton learns his secret origin! Several different versions, in fact, from the very unreliable and possibly insane Zarda (the Wonder Woman rip-off). Mark appears to doubt her assertion that she's from the same place he is -- but she's hot, naked (this comic has more boobs than Cinemax After Dark), and he's probably still a virgin, so looks like he's gonna let that slide for now. The dog. Also, the Batman and Flash rip-offs team up to find that there's yet another superpowered being out there -- a serial killing one. It was a good issue, so guess I'll be sticking around a while longer.

Powers: Speaking of Bendis... First issue of the reboot, now at new Marvel imprint Icon, rather than Image. Only thing that's changed is the little box on the cover; inside is still the same old badass Powers. Starts off with quite a shocker: Kutter, who could probably be described as the #3 character, gets killed in the traditional sudden and graphic Powers style. Walker and Deena are back together as partners, which is nice to see. Bendis' dialogue is as long-winded but hilarious as ever ("How'd he die?" "Dunno." "Don't be so technical."), but, unlike certain Bendis projects, stuff happens here. He basically reinvents the entire world within the comic in this one issue, plus has time for a nifty action scene, plenty of great dialogue and character moments, and a great reveal on the final page. Bendis' best series (out of, like, 87), and one of my top ten, if not top five.

Fantastic Four: Another of my favorites. I had never been much of an FF fan, outside of the Stan Lee originals, so I'm not really familiar with the "Frightful Four." But I get the feeling Mark Waid portrays them about as well as they can be -- after all, the Wizard, the Trapster, Salamandra, and Hydro are C-list villains at best. The way in which they defeat the FF is believable, and the reason why the Wizard doesn't kill them outright, which is always a stupid, Bond villain thing to do -- the reason he doesn't is kind of plausible, the way the character is portrayed. Waid's writing is funny and sharp, and I love the art. The only Marvels I buy are for the writers -- Marvel has great characters, but the writers have to know how to use them -- and Waid is now up there in that category with Peter David, Garth Ennis, J. Michael Straczynski, Brian Bendis, and a select few others.

Y: The Last Man: Another of my faves. Only bought four comics this week, and three of them are in my personal top ten. This one is in my top three, actually. Best thing about this issue: the slam against those dopey, non-"born again" bashing, crappily written, inexplicably popular religious screeds disguised as fantasy, the Left Behind series. Yorick is a great character, and he goes through a great deal of development this issue, dealing with his remorse over the woman he had to kill the previous issue, and allowing himself to finally let go of -- or at least, forget for a little while -- his girlfriend half a world away, whom he may never see again. It's just a great book.

I also picked up a Hopeless Savages collection (a funny book about a punk rock family), and the Three Strikes TPB (gritty crime drama), because of good Free Comic Book Day issues. The Three Strikes book I got because it's by the same team behind the Skinwalkers series, one issue of which I picked up as a leftover from last year's FCBD (come to think of it, the Hopeless Savages was a leftover, too), as well as on recommendation from Dorian, who's a fan of the creators. And I got the newest Ultimate Spider-Man trade, too -- for some reason, that's the one ongoing series that I only buy in trades. Bendis' habit of padding storylines in US-M is less annoying when you get the whole story at once, I guess.