COMICS: Wed. 1/12/05

Hero Squared: Keith Giffen has always been hit-and-miss with me, more often miss. But I really enjoyed this comic. Maybe it's his pairing with J.M. DeMatteis that elevates it (I don't know, I can't say I'm very familiar with DeMatteis). Or maybe it's because it's an original creation, unburdened with DC continuity. But I liked the characters, I liked the story (even though it sounds exactly like the plot of some movie I can't think of right now -- seriously, isn't there some movie just like this? Hero from another dimension crosses into our dimension to find his non-superpowered counterpart? No? Maybe I dreamed it), I liked the pop culture banter, and I laughed a number of times. (Like at the newspaper headline: "Bush Signs Literacy Bill -- Misspells Name.") The art is enjoyable, but rough; much like Phil Foglio's Girl Genius, it looks like xeroxes were made directly from the pencils, skipping the inking stage. And the cover, by Giffen, is tremendously ugly. It looks like he drew it with his wrong hand while on hold with the cable company.

Shaolin Cowboy: Not much story here, is there? Just beautiful, beautiful carnage. Geof Darrow's artwork is so exquisitely detailed, it took me several minutes to absorb one panel. Of course, it was an eight-page long panel, but still. The more I looked, the more I found to admire. But there's not much to the comic. It sure takes a different tack from all those first issues that are nothing but set-up, set-up, set-up. This drops us right into the middle of a completely unfathomable situation, with bizarre characters, and explains nothing. I liked it.

What If Aunt May Had Died Instead Of Uncle Ben?: A leftover from last week. It escaped my notice that Ed Brubaker had written it. I picked it up this week, and much like the other What Ifs... eh. It was a nice gimmick, framing it as a conversation between comic shop denizens, but the story overall didn't work for me. The circumstances under which Uncle Ben wound up in jail were a little too forced and contrived for me to buy. Just didn't care for it.

The Pulse: Yet another issue in which Jessica Jones bumbles around hysterically, saying, "I have no idea what's going on with this Secret War thing!" Well, neither do we, sister, and guess what? I'm now officially pissed off. This title is dropped. P.S.: The art sucked, too.

Fables: The end of the four-issue holding pattern, which I've actually been enjoying a great deal. A year has passed since Snow gave birth, and we learn there's a seventh baby she didn't know about. Hmm... seven? Seven children, very young, very short... you might even say they're dwarf-like in stature. Funny. Much as I've enjoyed these change-of-pace issues, I'll be glad to see what's going on with Bigby again (hopefully next issue).

The Punisher: Frank gets taken down by Mini-Lee. (Lee, Bruce.) What a revoltin' development. I still don't get what the plane-hijacking has to do with anything. I don't know if I'm missing something, or if it's just the muddled mess it seems to me. Whatever. As long as Nick Fury appears, grousing about the time he's wasting when he could be with his whores, I'm a happy reader.

Marvel Team-Up: I really liked the last issue. This one was a mess. The disparate plot threads are distracting and annoying, not intriguing. I'll stick around for the end of the storyline, but if things don't pick up in those two issues, I'll probably be dropping this title, too.

Haven't read yet: a Dan Slott two-fer, She-Hulk and Spider-Man/Human Torch. I'm really looking forward to the Ty Templeton art in the latter.

COMICS: Wed 1/5/05

Superman: Strength: Really like the story, really don't like the art. I especially like that Pa Kent isn't portrayed as the shining beacon of pure goodness that he usually is. He's still good... but he's only human. I liked that the criminals actually had a well-conceived plan to handle Superman, and even got the drop on him face-to-face. I mean, Superman's head is in a fishbowl! You can't beat that. This book is crazy fun. But the art.... You know, it's funny, at one point I was thinking the art looked closer to an old Mad magazine parody of Superman than to a serious comic Superman -- and then one of the characters said "fershlugginer". Maybe the Mad-looking art was intentional! Potrzebie!

Incredible Hulk: Man oh man, am I glad Peter David is back. Since I gave up on Bruce Jones' run on the book a long time ago, I'm not sure if David is picking up where Jones left off, or just ignoring his run entirely. (I'd prefer the latter.) Interesting new ability (or mutation) for the Hulk -- rather than holding his breath to stay underwater for extended periods, he can actually breathe underwater now (though it isn't pretty how). And the Hulk seems even more savage than usual. I felt a little adrift with this first issue; no idea why, or how, the Hulk is where he is, if this is following up from the previous issue or a fresh start. But I'm hooked, that's for sure.

New Avengers: Who the hell is Sentry? Seriously, this is a character I should have heard of before? Okay, if you say so. Things are a little darker here than I'd expected; was the close-up of Spider-Man's arm snapping strictly necessary? Man, lately everybody wants to take the fun out of Spider-Man. It's bumming me out, dude!

Jubilee: I'm trying to come to terms with my shame for really liking this book. And Dorian isn't helping any! At the comic shop this week, he took delight in calling loudly across the room, "Hey, Tom, the new issue of Jubilee is in!" Yeah, thanks, pal. Well, you know what? It was another good issue! So there! As opposed to New Avengers, this book stands with She-Hulk and Fantastic Four as about the only Marvel titles trying to keep the grim & gritty from taking over completely.

There's always one comic I forget. I know I got five comics this week. I didn't get Brubaker's second issue of Captain America, or Kirkman's Fantastic Four: Foes, although I had both of them in my hand at one point... I liked the first issue of Captain America, and the FF:F book looked all right, but I think I'll wait for the trades on both those titles. (Take that, comics industry!)

Oh! I know. Flaming Carrot Comics. Mike is clearly a big fan; in the store, he gleefully pointed out the new issue to me. So I thought I'd give it a try. About my only previous exposure to this character was through his appearance in Cerebus a million years ago. I think I paged through some of the regular Carrot comics back then, and didn't care for them. Too weird, didn't like the art. I did like this issue, but Burden's art hasn't improved a great deal since then; a lot of it really looks rough, especially the women characters. But I enjoyed the insanity I found so off-putting years ago. The Flaming Carrot is basically a madman, spouting non sequiturs while assaulting his enemies with a baloney gun. Funny stuff. I laughed a number of times, enough to get me past some of the weaknesses in the book.

COMICS: Top Ten

Well, maybe it's not a top ten list, so much as some of my favorite things about comics loosely grouped together.

BEST SINGLE ISSUE

You think I'm going to say Eightball #23, don't you? Everybody says Eightball #23. Well, as you know if you read my original review, I liked it just fine, I really liked it, in fact, but it didn't own my world. That distinction belongs to Street Angel #2. Possibly the single funniest comic I have ever read, bursting with insanely inventive characters and situations and rich and clever dialogue, with humor both subtle and slapstick, I simply loved every inch of this book. (Caveat: I'm not even 100% sure it was released during 2004; maybe it was late 2003. But 2004 is when I first read it. So there.)

Honorable Mentions: Yes, yes, Eightball #23. You happy? Also, New Frontier #5. That was the issue that finally got me into the series. After waiting four issues to click into what everyone else was raving about, issue #5 blew my socks off. It was the best mainstream, superhero-type single issue of the year (is that enough qualifiers?).

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FAVORITE WRITER

At the beginning of the year, I might've said Robert Kirkman or Brian Bendis. But some lackluster extracurricular projects (Kirkman's 2099 and Captain America and Bendis' Avengers Disassembled) kind of took the shine off both those apples. Now, I think there's no question it's Brian K. Vaughan, whose Y: The Last Man has long been my favorite continuing series, whose Runaways was entertaining if light, and whose new Ex Machina is tremendous, funny and controversial and creepy and original.

Honorable Mention: James Kochalka, whose American Elf is the best graphic novel of the year (or TPB, or whatever the hell you want to classify it as), and whose Peanut Butter and Jeremy collection was cute and touching and a pure joy (though I'm pretty sure it came out last year, but I read it this year. So there. Again).

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FAVORITE CONTINUING SERIES

I just said it, right above! Y: The Last Man, much like one of my favorite TV shows, Lost, has a fantastic overarching mystery, several smaller mysteries generated by the fantastic supporting cast, and the ability to create genuine suspense with each issue's cliffhanger.

Honorable Mentions: Street Angel, Fables, She-Hulk, Girl Genius, Invincible.

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THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE WHAT THE HELL?? OF GRANT MORRISON

The Good: We3, my favorite limited series, is just lovely, some of the best visual storytelling I've ever seen (which is what makes Frank Quitely my favorite artist), with an animal cast that's all too human. Can't wait for the finish.

The Bad: The first issue of JLA: Classified did nothing but irritate me. I have no desire to get the second issue.

The What the Hell??: I did get the second issue of Seaguy, and I wished I hadn't. I was even more lost than after the first. I didn't bother with the third. As I've said before, I don't mind being challenged by a writer, but it bothers me when it seems the writer is mocking me with nonsense.

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FAVORITE LIMITED SERIES

I just said it! We3! Pay attention!

Honorable Mentions: The New Frontier, Challengers of the Unknown, and of course, some other thing I'm probably forgetting.

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BEST SERIES I'VE ONLY READ IN TPB SO FAR

Hard Time, just edging out Sleeper.

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BEST TREND FOR THIS YEAR

Getting the "fun" back into "funny books". You can take your Identity Crisis and go sulk and brood in your dark and gritty comics world. My favorite books of the year made me laugh. Street Angel, of course, led the pack (except for the boring PSA that was issue #4), as did another new B&W indie series, the terrifically funny Scurvy Dogs. Phil Foglio's Girl Genius continued in its always reliable comedic ways. And even the Big Two were able to stop scowling long enough to release Plastic Man (which was uneven, but more than worthwhile; the more recent issues have really been great, especially the one with President Lex Luthor channeling Dubya by way of Woozy Winks) and She-Hulk (my favorite Marvel title right now).

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BEST TREND FOR NEXT YEAR

Everything old is new again. Grimjack, my favorite comic ever, is coming back! The news that Ostrander and Truman were reviving the long-dormant (due to legal issues) series was my single favorite moment in comics this year. Oh yeah. Also returning in '05: Mike Baron's Badger, Peter David's The Incredible Hulk, and Howard Chaykin's American Flagg! (the last in TPB form only, not new issues, sadly, but still, that's some good news).

POTPOURRI

I've been going very slowly through the Essential Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 6 collection, because, despite the fact that I think these stories may represent the height of Spidey's comic book popularity, encompassing many landmark events (like Gwen Stacy's death and the introduction of the Punisher), and may well be the era during which most long-term comics fans were first introduced to the character (I know the first issues I ever read as a kid are contained in this book)... where was I going with this?

Oh, yeah, despite how popular and iconic these issues are, they are just horribly, horribly, horribly written. Gerry Conway has to be one of the very worst writers in the history of comics. And I say that even with the painful memories of Todd McFarlane's Spider-Man still poisoning some small corner of my mind.

But what's worse, the way Conway writes Spider-Man, Spidey comes off as a world class asshole. He's always snubbing his friends, insulting Mary Jane when she's trying to cheer him up, abandoning his best friend Harry, who's in heroin withdrawal and whose father has recently been killed. But what's more, rather than stopping crime, he exacerbates it, actively preventing super-villains from curing themselves of their powers.

In two comics released the very same month (cover dated June, 1974), Amazing Spider-Man #133 and Giant-Size Super-Heroes featuring Spider-Man #1, Conway's Spider-Man stops Molten Man and Morbius (respectively) from obtaining the potential cure for their conditions.

In the former, Spider-Man basically pieces together what the Molten Man has been trying to do (gather ingredients needed to recreate what originally made him the Molten Man in an effort to halt the radioactive decay of his body -- radiation which, by the way, is far more deadly than he ever was in his pre-decaying state), but still engages him in battle, endangering police and other innocent bystanders along the way. (In one scene, Spidey actually clobbers two policemen who confront him, sending them into unconsciousness with, "Pleasant dreams... creeps!") As the Molten Man's death approaches, he cries,

"I only needed time--! Time to reverse the deterioration-- but Spider-Man wouldn't stop hounding me! [...] Now you've attacked me, when I was so close to success! I had all the elements I needed to cure myself-- all but one, and that one I stole this evening--! If I'd escaped, I could have rediscovered the formula that created this accursed golden shell... I could have saved myself if it hadn't been for--"

And what is Spider-Man's thoughtful response? "Sure you could have, Raxton-- and my name's Santa Claus!" What a Spider-Dick. Oh, by the way, in the ensuing fight, Spidey throws the Molten Man's precious ingredients into the river, which the Molten Man dives after; upon hitting the freezing water, the Molten Man explodes. Nice. Real nice.

In Giant-Size Etc., Morbius, "the Living Vampire," is trying to reach Professor Ward, a hematologist who has "developed a process to completely replace a person's blood". Clearly, Morbius is seeking a cure for himself. When he enters the professor's lab, he says, "I've been in Hell, Professor Ward... and I've come to you to release me!" Enter Spider-Man, who jumps in, fists swinging, rather than letting the completely non-threatening, non-violent Morbius use the prof's knowledge to help himself. In the fight, the professor's lab equipment is destroyed, leading a stricken Morbius to lament,

"Ward said that without it, his experiment was useless-- [...] You've caused me to destroy what might be my last chance, Spider-Man..."

And Morbius flees. But it turns out the professor's equipment is not destroyed; Spidey switched out the real stuff with spare parts. He planned not only to prevent Morbius from obtaining a cure, but also to make him lose all hope that a cure might ever be found. And then he blithely allowed Morbius to escape. In fact, he must have expected Morbius to escape; if he thought he could capture him, the elaborate ruse wouldn't have been needed. Dude! What is the point? Rather than cure him, or catch him, you deprive him of hope and set him loose? That won't cause any trouble, I'm sure. Dumbass.

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In the past couple days this site has been getting scads of hits from Johanna's Cognitive Dissonance. And I can't figure out why. I assumed she had linked to me (possibly to my year-end TV roundup, which seriously, that took a long time, do me a solid and at least skim it if you haven't already, and what, are you allergic to commenting?), but nope. No link, other than the sidebar. I guess she just gets a ton of traffic that also visits her sidebar links. Well, regardless of the reason: sweet. Hell, why don't you go check out her site when you're done here? Very nice comics reviews and links to be found there!

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I'm a little hesitant to continue the top ten lists this week, because for one thing, other than TV, I'm not sure what other field I could really make a definitive list for. I could go through all the movies I've seen this year (like Monty just did), but 1) I haven't seen all that many, and 2) I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I mostly saw mainstream, blockbuster-type fare. Even Fahrenheit 9/11 was a blockbuster of sorts.

Books? I doubt I've read many more than ten books total this year. (Exclude children's books, like the Lemony Snicket stuff, and I'm probably down to single digits.) I've been very lax about my non-comic reading. I still haven't read that last damn Dark Tower book! I've only been waiting for the conclusion to the series for twenty years; what the hell is keeping me from getting to it?

And speaking of comics, I guess I could cobble some kind of list together, but I think I don't read as wide a variety of comics as I should to make a very interesting list, and I don't really have the recall to single out specific issues or landmarks from longer than about a month ago. I could name Street Angel and Eightball and American Elf and She-Hulk and Ex Machina and Girl Genius and Fables and We3 and Scurvy Dogs (and indeed I will, should I crack down and get to that list), but I can barely remember what happened last month in Y: The Last Man, let alone recall comics highlights from January. I'm a poor excuse for a comics fan.

Hey, I think I may just have written my top ten comics list, right there. Counting Y... yep, that's ten. Welp, that was easier than I thought! What, I should maybe do more commentary on those titles? Okay, maybe I will have a list to post tomorrow, after all.

COMICS: Wed. 12/8/04

I bought four comics. Two days later, I've still only read three of them. I'm slow.

She-Hulk: I love this comic. I prefer when Bobillo draws it -- something about that baby-faced She-Hulk, and his other non-traditional depictions of Marvel characters, really gives me a kick. But the writing is consistently entertaining no matter who's doing the art. I like the effort that goes into the minor characters. For example, I have to imagine no one has ever given as much thought to Titania as Dan Slott does this issue.

Powers: Nothing really happened this issue, did it? A lot of treading water. A lot of talk talk talk about whether it's right for heroes to challenge the law and use their powers openly. Then some nobody in a costume died, probably killed by a cop. Which might've been interesting, if they had actually dealt with it in this issue, instead of cliffhanging it. Pretty boring overall.

Punisher: I was a couple pages in, and one panel with Frank's face made me think, that looks like Bill Reinhold art. Which is unusual for me; I'm hardly an expert on artistic styles. But I was right, he's the inker. I had a little late '80s flashback, to when Reinhold was doing the art for Mike Baron's Punisher. As well as Baron's Badger. Those were the days. I wish Mike Baron were still writing comics. I mean, mainstream comics that have a future, not the ultra-obscure titles for mini-mini publishers that he seems to release once a year, which then disappear after the first issue (Faro Korbit, anyone?). In fact, he appears to have released a new book last month, The Detonator, which I've never even heard of. (It was scheduled for November, anyway; maybe it's not actually out yet.) And he's talking about a Badger revival for mid-2005. New issues of Grimjack and Badger scheduled for next year? Heaven!!

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Punisher. Pretty good issue.

Fables: Haven't read it.

Also picked up (but haven't read) the first TPB of Ed Brubaker's Catwoman. I'd been resisting this, because I bought the first couple-three issues when they first came out, then decided to drop the title. But Ian's enthusiasm for Brubaker's Sleeper recently got me to pick up the first trade of that series, and I really enjoyed it, so now I'm on a mini-Brubaker kick, I guess. Next up: Gotham Central.

COMICS: A personal test

I bought eight comics today. I'm going to try to list them all. (The bag's sitting out in the car.) And if I can't remember one of them, I'm going to drop the title. If it's a bad one, I shouldn't have been getting it in the first place. If it's a good one, serves me right.

Today actually should be easier than usual. I'm pretty excited about the whole bundle.

We've got Ennis and Bendis, of course: Punisher and The Pulse. Punisher more than The Pulse I'm looking forward to; I still haven't quite broken the Bendis knee-jerk purchasing habit, but I think I have finally forced myself to dump Daredevil. Not that I mean to suggest I haven't been enjoying The Pulse; I have. It's just, how many Bendis comics do I need?

Then there's Kirkman: Marvel Team-Up (which I skipped last week because my eyes just brushed past the "MTU" on the cover. Muhtoo? I didn't want a comic called Muhtoo...), and The Walking Dead, which is pretty damn quick, the last issue was out just last week.

Peter David is represented: Madrox. It feels good to be buying a David title again. I dropped Fallen Angel fairly early on; something about it just didn't quite win me over. Can't wait for his return to The Incredible Hulk.

Then there's Ed Brubaker, with Captain America. I just suffered through Kirkman's lousy run on the title; why am I doing it again? I don't give a rat's ass about Captain America. But I'll give the Brubaker version a try, I guess. I'm a sucker.

Brian K. Vaughan's in there, with Ex Machina. I'm glad this series seems to be catching on. It's like the TV show Lost (which is big in the ratings) -- I'm relieved that for once the rest of the public seems to agree with me on a quality product.

And then there are the two "fun" books of the week, She-Hulk and Fantastic Four. And that should be the whole list!

Wait, that's nine. Did I miscount the comics in my bag? Or did I forget to buy something? (I know that I almost bought Matt Howarth's Bugtown, but didn't; it just didn't look as interesting as the old Post Bros. comics used to. But that's not what's messing up my count.) Usually I forget one of the comics I bought; this time I seem to be remembering one too many. Weird. Well, if it's nine, then more comic goodness for me! If it turns out I've got only eight: DAMMIT!

And on top of however many comics that is, I also got the final Peter Milligan X-Force TPB. Damn, I went crazy today. Good thing I won at poker this weekend!

COMICS: Wed. 10/13/04

After I complained yesterday about buying so many comics, I was very pleased that so many of them were so good.

The Hard Time TPB is excellent, as Dorian, Ken, and others have been saying all along. And it's such a great value -- ten bucks for six issues. It's a unique take on the superpower genre: a 15-year-old's powers manifest just before he's locked in prison, likely for the rest of his life. I had some quibbles -- why was he convicted in the first place, if even the cops (as his lawyer says) admit he never fired his gun, or at least why was he not convicted of a lesser charge, rather than the full murder counts; and, however much I appreciate his sarcastic humor, it's in no way believable that a kid could be so flip to the other convicts and not get killed 87 times before sundown on his first day, powers or not. But the rough situation, which I don't think has ever been portrayed so extensively, or so well, in mainstream comics before, and the sharply defined and interesting characters make this a fantastic read.

The Authority: More Kev: Good, funny stuff, especially the Midnighter's confrontations with idiot Kev. I'd be upset if someone threw a nuclear bomb in my face, too.

Demo: Eh. There was an interesting twist toward the end, but I wasn't invested enough in the characters to be shocked or say, "Whoa!" Instead, I think I said, "Huh." Let me go back: yeah, that was the extent of my reaction. "Huh." I doubt I'll get the next issue; might get the final issue the month after.

Fables: Very funny issue. The expression of Snow's face as she says, "A litter? I'm having a litter?" is just priceless. I'm glad Buckingham is back and the story is moving forward again.

Captain America: Limp ending to a lame arc. So it was a SHIELD-designed robot replica of Diamondback? Dude, whatever. One order of machina, extra deus on top. And what's with that ending: "Maybe we should just get a room." When did Steve Rogers turn into the Mack? Kirkman really disappointed me on this book.

She-Hulk: This continues to be one of my favorites. I love the non-traditional, but clean and appealing art. I love the humor. I love the characters. I love that after Jen finds Drax the Destroyer, the Silver Surfer, et al. have all been defeated already, she says, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." I love that the Silver Surfer's board has a splint on it. A splint! You know you've been in a fight when your surfboard needs a splint. This book is a big bundle of fun. Pick it up; don't let it get cancelled.

Challengers of the Unknown: Maybe I should've waited for the TPB. Chaykin's stories are packed with so much plot and characters, they just read better when you can go through them all at once. I think this was the best issue since the first, with plans and motivations revealed; I'm curious to see if Chaykin can wrap it all up satisfactorily in the one remaining issue. And what was with the Ann Coulter surrogate, Jan Boulton, quitting her job at the Fox News-type network? Was that explained in this issue, or was it set-up for the next?

Secret War: Three issues in and we still don't know what the hell is going on. I guess Bendis is planning on keeping the war a secret from the readers as well. The art is gorgeous; it's a shame it doesn't have a story worthy of it. What little story there is: I couldn't believe that four pages after the staples, the middle of the book, the story abruptly ended. The staples mean you've got half the book left, not four goddam pages. What a rip-off. And I really wasn't pleased that a phone transcript between Captain America and SHIELD, a conversation which was wisely left out of the main story because it was boring and pointless, took up seven goddam pages of the book. You're working my last fucking nerve, Bendis.

Powers: And yet I still enjoyed this book. Walker follows one sick and twisted false lead, and Pilgrim -- wow. That was one surprise ending. Well, it surprised the hell out of me, anyway. I think I need to cut my monthly Bendis intake back to this and... well, just this. (I already only get the TPBs of Ultimate Spider-Man.)

Ex Machina: Like She-Hulk, another book everyone should get. Smart, surprising, funny, cool, controversial. It's great stuff. The snowplow-driver serial killer storyline came to an unexpectedly sudden, and not entirely satisfactory end, but the bits with Kremlin, and the flashbacks, continue to fascinate me, as do the political maneuverings. This Brian Vaughan kid, he might have a career in comics.

COMICS: Holy Crap

I just topped the $70 mark at the comic store. Mother of pearl! That needs to not happen again any time soon. Over half of that is two TPBs; James Kochalka's American Elf, collecting the daily strips from his website for the last, like, 87 years -- seriously, it's a fat book, and priced to match ($29.95) -- and Hard Time, which many people have been recommending to me for a while now (and it's quite a bargain -- six issues for $9.95).

But then I got nine other comic books. Criminy! A year ago, I didn't buy nine titles total. Nine in one week is pretty damn excessive. For me, anyway. I bet I couldn't even name them all without looking. Let's try:

Powers
She-Hulk
Demo (because I didn't pick it up last week)
Captain America
Fables
Challengers of the Unknown
Ex Machina
Secret Wars

Um... I'm stalling out. That's eight, one left. Damn. I can tell you I didn't get Punisher; I'm still waiting for that awful, never-ending current story arc to wrap up (I think this was its last issue).

JESUS! This is just disgraceful. I'm spending money on titles I can't even remember two minutes after looking at 'em. I need to cut back on my comics purchases, and cut back hard. Okay, I can't stand the suspense, I'm gonna go look.

It was The Authority: More Kev. Well, at least that's the last of the four issue series. That's one off my list. And I was going to drop Captain America after this one, if I still didn't like Robert Kirkman's writing, but then Dorian told me that this is Kirkman's last issue anyway. "Oh good, I can drop it!" I said. "Ed Brubaker's writing it next," he said. "Crap," I said. Guess I'm not dropping it yet.

Man, looking at the first eight -- if I had to force myself to cut half of them, it'd be a tough choice. Okay, Cap would be pretty easy. Probably Challengers would be next (I'm guessing it'd read better as a TPB, anyway), then Demo (which I like, but don't absolutely love the way some bloggers seem to), and probably Secret Wars would be the last, because one Bendis title should be enough for any one week.

I've got a lot of comic reading to do tonight. Plus about 20 hours of Farscape on tape. Not to mention the TiVo backlog. And I still haven't finished the new Stephen King, or even America (The Book). I'm poor and friendless, I guess is my point. Bummer.

COMICS: Wed. 8/18

Taking a breather from my Olympics coverage (don't all cheer at once) to go over this week's comics haul. And it was a pretty decent-sized one.

Demo #8 & #9: I liked both issues, but I have the feeling I would've liked them better if I hadn't read them back to back. It feels like they're going over the exact same territory. Hell, the whole series may be going over the same territory; the only other issue I've read is #1. And all of the issues I've read are moving, sometimes sweet, sometimes painful, sharply observed examinations of relationships (with a little supernatural thrown in). They all feel real -- but they also all feel the same. Possibly the other issues branch out in different directions, but #8 and #9 are both about the exact same thing, a couple breaks up. Sure, one is by way of suicide -- but still, the story structure is the same: a woman explains (post-mortem in the latter case) to a man why they can't be together anymore. It's good writing, and I'll probably pick up the next issue, too; I just hope the writer has another trick up his sleeve.

Ex Machina: Brian K. Vaughan continues to keep my interest, although the bad guy is so far poorly defined and without any real sense of threat. It's the politics that make this series compelling, and I'm glad it hasn't degenerated into superhero punch-em-up yet.

She-Hulk: ...like this comic. I kind of get the feeling the writer is under pressure to make the series more reader-friendly with this two-parter, which featured new, more traditional artwork, and a big superhero punch-em-up. This one was down from the high standards set in previous issues. I hope Jen returns to the courtroom next time.

Plastic Man: Intermittently funny, but a mess overall, like Baker was just throwing out ideas as they occurred to him. The "Abraham Lincoln must die!" story crossed over from absurdly funny to kind of creepy pretty quickly, and the wrap-up was abrupt and sloppy.

Invincible: In the letter column, Kirkman calls this issue the big one, the one he's been waiting for. Really? Hm. I thought it was the worst issue of the series. Kirkman is starting to stretch himself way too thin -- like, Bendis thin. What's he writing, five comics now, counting the upcoming Marvel Team-Up? I'm afraid the quantity will make the quality suffer.

Daredevil: Speaking of which... This is in my "Why am I still buying this?" category. Why am I still buying this?

Supreme Power: See above. I can't fucking believe there are spin-offs from this series already -- and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED IN IT. Why am I still buying it?!?

Girl Genius: Decent, not great. I love that it came out so quickly after the previous issue -- by which I mean, not five months late -- and I liked that some backstory about Wulfenbach and the Heterodyne Bros. was revealed, but overall, just an average issue of a way above average series.

Fantastic Four: I've already seen some people grousing about this issue. I thought it was great, especially after the ho-hum previous story. I like that we're seeing Johnny back in the business office of FF Inc., I loved Ben's "Human Torch" costume, and the menace from above was the kind of cosmic, epic threat that often brings out the best in the Fantastic Four.

Runaways: Last week, I finally picked up the TPB of the first four issues, and I really liked it. I should've known I would, what with Vaughan's track record. I don't like the digest size of the book, though; my eyes are bad enough without having to make out the print at 60% size (or whatever it is). I love it when I finally check out a book everyone's been talking about, and, if I like it, there's a whole load of back issues I can get all at once.

COMICS: Wed. 7/28/04

Avengers: As a long-time non Avengers fan, I don't even know what to make of this. I'm totally buying it only because Bendis is writing it. Okay, before anything else, I have to say, TWO double-page spreads of the Avengers Mansion blowing up seems excessive. I barely know most of these characters, but Bendis does a decent job of giving them personalities before the shit starts to fly; the Hawkman/Madame Hydra bit is funny and believable, and got an extra kick from his turning it around on She-Hulk (even though I know from her own comic that she doesn't even live in Avengers Mansion anymore... details, details). So, Ant-Man's dead. Moment of silence, please (in which I try to remember who the hell Ant-Man is. I thought Hank Pym was Ant-Man. Who's this guy? Was he the guy dating Jessica a year ago in Alias?). And the Vision crashes into the Mansion, melts like the Wicked Witch of the West, and coughs up Ultron hairballs. Cool.

All that's interesting enough, but it's the personality changes in other characters that really intrigues me. What is making Tony Stark feel like he's drunk? What is driving She-Hulk berserk (and causing her to rip the Vision in half and pummel Captain America senseless -- which, as bad as the situation is, was still completely badass)? This issue has gotten me hooked. I'll stick around for more of this Disassembled nonsense, even though I hate crossovers and don't really care about the Avengers. By which I mean, I'll stick around for the books written by the good writers, like Bendis and Kirkman. (Assuming Kirkman's next issue of Captain America is better than his first.)

Powers: Am I supposed to remember who this new girl who's dressing up as Retro Girl is? Cause I don't. Is this a character that was introduced ages ago, or is she brand new, and I shouldn't feel bad about not recognizing her? Second issue of the reboot wasn't as excellent as the first; Oeming's art looks rushed in places, and Bendis draws out the interrogation scenes a little too long (Bendis padding a story? Shocking!). But it's still a good issue.

The Walking Dead: The new artist is starting to bug me. Tony Moore was so excellent at creating detailed, individual characters; with Charlie Adlard, I can hardly tell one character from another. Which bearded man is this? And Kirkman's foreshadowing was a little blunt: Carol is suddenly content, and accepting of things she had so recently condemned; I'm sure she's going to live a nice, long, happy life. As long as a zombie doesn't eat her face... oh, DAMN!! Didn't see that coming!!

Fantastic Four: This storyline had potential in the beginning, but I was disappointed with this finale. First of all, strange as it may be to say it, what with my constant criticism of the padding of Marvel arcs out to unnecessary lengths: this issue felt rushed and crowded; it might have been better with one more issue to wrap things up. Then again, that might only have added one more unenjoyable issue to the story. Waid seemed to lose his control of the villain characters; instead of the interesting individuals they started out as, they fell back into corny villain cliches at the end. I stopped caring about Cole and stopped believing in her mini-romance with Johnny. Glad there's a new story next issue.

Astonishing X-Men: Last week, it took me forever to remember one of the comics I had bought. Same thing this week, and this was the comic. Still not astonished by it. The art, yes; the art is gorgeous. But the writing... I want to like it, because it's Whedon, but I just don't. The conflict in this issue is especially contrived: I didn't for a second believe that Wolverine and Beast would attack each other full-out, claws bared, smashing through the walls of the school, because of that stupid serum. Not for a second. It was so blatantly, "we need a fight scene, who would it be cool to see fighting?" And would any student, anywhere, ever, actually ask a teacher, "Are you a fucking retard?" (And not get the shit kicked out of him.) I guess I'm sticking with this book because I want to believe it could be great, even though it isn't even close yet.

COMICS: More on Wed. 7/14/04

Okay, let's try this again.

Superman/Batman: As I said before, this story needs to end. Batman and Superman's dueling captions have been saying the exact same thing for, what four issues now?

BATMAN: I don't trust anyone because mommy didn't hold me enough. Superman's a chump and a doofus.
SUPERMAN: Batman's got a stick up his ass. I'm totally right to put all my trust in someone I've known for three days.

(I may be paraphrasing a little.) And I'm getting a little tired of Michael Turner's art. It's gorgeous in places, but everyone is starting to look like a Kate Moss-type, heroin-chic cover model.

She-Hulk: Don't care for the new artist. I don't know if this is a permanent art change, but I hope not. I mean, She-Hulk is actually wearing that purple and white skintight uniform on the cover inside the comic now. That's not an improvement. The last artist made some weird alterations to fairly well-established character designs, like the Thing and Spider-Man, but they were pleasantly eye-catching changes. The new art is more standard action fare. I hope this title doesn't start playing down to generic superhero expectations, rather than remaining the unique genre-busting book I became a fan of. (Although I have to admit, I got a kick out of seeing Nova knocked across town.)

Captain America: I'm a fan of Robert Kirkman's Invincible and The Walking Dead, but his writing debut here did not impress me at all. The characters speak in awkward phrases and corny cliches; Captain America is portrayed as a lunkhead on cruise control. The best part was the peek at Hydra's break room, but that was it for originality. Disappointing.

Fables Also disappointing. After eight issues of the Wooden Soldiers, all the conflicts are resolved off-page. Bigby wipes out the Wooden Soldiers, but we only get to see the Gingerbread House Witch's description of it. And the Witch vs. Red Riding Hood/Baba Yaga battle is only shown in one panel, reflected in King Cole's eye. Lame. After eight issues of build-up, we deserve to witness those resolutions. Also, Snow White's running and embracing Bigby was way out of character. First issue of Fables that let me down. At least there's a new story next issue.

Punisher: Which is more than I can say for this title. I've already complained about this tedious storyline before. All I'll add now is, I wish every goddam story in every goddam Marvel Comic weren't Constitutionally required to be six goddam issues.

Scurvy Dogs: Hilarious as always. Everyone should get this book. This issue, Blackbeard's crew gets swept up in a media frenzy orchestrated by Buck Rogers in the 25th Century's Dr. Theopolis -- remember him? He was the talking disc Twiki carried around his neck. Twiki dumped him, and now a gasoline-drinking Rod Stewart carries him instead. This book is sheer comic genius.

Street Angel: As is this one. I picked up the second issue because of a mention of it in John Jakala's Grotesque Anatomy (oddly enough, in a post with a negative review of the upcoming third issue). I really want to go into this issue in more detail, because its insane comedic brilliance deserves proper attention, but I will mention it involves a Mexican wresting mask-wearing Incan sun god, Spanish Conquistador Cortez, who strangely enough has a pegleg and talks like a movie pirate, a bunch of ninjas who ride fire engines into battle (so much for that vaunted ninja stealth!), Cosmick, the world's first Irish astronaut (Cosmick, get it?), and Jesse, a teenage girl, master of the martial arts, and the world's greatest homeless skateboarder, who fights against "ninjas, drugs, nepotism, and pre-algebra as Street Angel." I loved this book.

COMICS: Wed. 7/14/04

I just spent over an hour on a comics post that just got obliterated because Blogger's "improvements" to their post creation form are buggy as hell and suck copious amounts of ass. I even right-clicked and saved the text as a precaution: the crash still erased it all. Blogger is a severely shitty site.

GOD DAMN IT!!!

I'm so furious I can't even attempt to recreate the post now. I'm done. Here, here's my frickin' update: Street Angel is awesome, The Punisher and Superman/Batman need to finish their tedious current storylines right now, the finish of the Wooden Soldiers story in Fables was surprisingly disappointing, Chaykin's Bite Club is just okay, while his Challengers of the Unknown is excellent, visually exciting with a compelling story, though the characters are all underdeveloped so far, and The Pulse was typical Bendis, meaning the story is padded beyond belief, but I still liked it, the dialogue, and the characters.

And I haven't yet read She-Hulk, Robert Kirkman's debut on Captain America, Scurvy Dogs, and Eightball.

God damn lousy Blogger.

COMICS: Wed. 6/30/04

Went to my friendly neighborhood comics shop Wednesday and wound up hanging out with employees Mike, Dorian, and Chris, as well as fellow comics fiends Corey and Ian, for a good hour and a half. Good times. One of our conversation topics was about our Irish chins, all of which (but Corey's) are oh-so-cleverly concealed behind facial hair. Chris, who isn't Irish, felt left out, but we all decided that half Mexican plus half Jewish equals Irish, and that seemed to cheer the lad right up.

Anyway. Only three new comics today, a light and inexpensive load for me, but I collected a bundle of back issues as well, and wound up putting a serious hurt on my bank account after all. Hooray?

• Batman: Harley and Ivy
  Part 3 of a 3-part mini. Another funny issue from Paul Dini and Bruce Timm, featuring Harley and Ivy's misadventures in Hollywood. Very reminiscent of the work the two did on the Batman cartoon -- but with a more adult slant. Which I think must be confusing parents and kids alike. A cursory glance reveals the same cartoony art style found in the children's comic Batman Adventures, but a closer look reveals:
  

  Lingerie shot. Lingerie shot. Panty shot. Panty shot. Bra shot. Ass shot. Panties around ankles shot. Shower shot. Shower shot. Shower shot. Panty shot. Partial bare boob shot. Panty shot. Panty shot. Towel shot.

  And so forth and so on. There's a reason this book isn't approved by the Comics Code Authority. It's very naughty, in an innocent way, if that makes sense. Good clean dirty fun.


• Invincible
  My favorite new series of the past year (or so) continues to satisfy. In the aftermath of last issue's brutal battle between father and son, an important new government agent character is introduced, Mark learns more about what his father did for a living, new relationships are formed, both inside and outside the superhero world, and Mark's got a new job. Which, after being so utterly betrayed by his father, seems like a foolish thing to jump into as blindly as he does, but hey, the kid's still learning. Robert Kirkman has quickly become one of my favorite writers, and Ryan Ottley continues to impress with his sharp, clean artwork. Invincible is one of my five current favorites.


• The Punisher
  After the amazing previous storyline, in which longtime Punisher ally Micro met his shocking, extremely graphic end at the hands (well, shotgun) of the Punisher himself, this new story feels like a muddled let-down. Something about the IRA and pirates on the East River and some old guy who cuts up people real good and a bomb expert who's missing nine-tenths of his face and a dreadlocked, gold-toothed gangster and oh, I just stopped caring. Maybe I was just tired when I read this issue, but it stopped making sense around page three. Too much plot getting in the way of the action, as Joe Bob would say.


• She-Hulk
  I've been hearing a lot of good things about this title -- "It's not what you'd expect!" -- so I finally broke down and bought the first four issues. (Corey was pleased that both I and Ian were buying it.) And it's a good fun book. The artwork is nice -- although, in some action sequences (such as the one with MODOK in outer space), it's a little hard to tell what's going on -- and the writing is clever and humorous. The book's about She-Hulk, after she's screwed up her life with excessive partying (losing her job and getting kicked out of the Avengers mansion in the process), getting hired by a prestigious law firm that handles supernormal clients -- but the catch is, they don't want She-Hulk, they want her non-powered alter ego, Jessica Walters. I have minor complaints about She-Hulk's/Jen's seeming inability to stand up for herself, whether it be against the Avengers or her bitchy new co-worker, and I think it's a little unlikely the Avengers would've gone straight to kicking her out of the mansion without having a talk with her first, but hey, you gotta get the plot and conflict somehow. And like I said, minor complaints. I've heard the book's in danger of cancellation. Which just figures, now that I've finally started liking it.

I also picked up Ex Machina (by Brian K. Vaughan, writer of Y: The Last Man -- another of my current favorites) and Astonishing X-Men, both of which I forgot to get last week. I've got nothing to add about them that hasn't been said already. (Oh, and also, I haven't read them yet.)

And on Corey's recommendation, I got an issue of Brit, by Invincible writer Kirkman, but I didn't read it yet, either. Possible follow-up post later today.