COMICS: Wed 1/5/05

Superman: Strength: Really like the story, really don't like the art. I especially like that Pa Kent isn't portrayed as the shining beacon of pure goodness that he usually is. He's still good... but he's only human. I liked that the criminals actually had a well-conceived plan to handle Superman, and even got the drop on him face-to-face. I mean, Superman's head is in a fishbowl! You can't beat that. This book is crazy fun. But the art.... You know, it's funny, at one point I was thinking the art looked closer to an old Mad magazine parody of Superman than to a serious comic Superman -- and then one of the characters said "fershlugginer". Maybe the Mad-looking art was intentional! Potrzebie!

Incredible Hulk: Man oh man, am I glad Peter David is back. Since I gave up on Bruce Jones' run on the book a long time ago, I'm not sure if David is picking up where Jones left off, or just ignoring his run entirely. (I'd prefer the latter.) Interesting new ability (or mutation) for the Hulk -- rather than holding his breath to stay underwater for extended periods, he can actually breathe underwater now (though it isn't pretty how). And the Hulk seems even more savage than usual. I felt a little adrift with this first issue; no idea why, or how, the Hulk is where he is, if this is following up from the previous issue or a fresh start. But I'm hooked, that's for sure.

New Avengers: Who the hell is Sentry? Seriously, this is a character I should have heard of before? Okay, if you say so. Things are a little darker here than I'd expected; was the close-up of Spider-Man's arm snapping strictly necessary? Man, lately everybody wants to take the fun out of Spider-Man. It's bumming me out, dude!

Jubilee: I'm trying to come to terms with my shame for really liking this book. And Dorian isn't helping any! At the comic shop this week, he took delight in calling loudly across the room, "Hey, Tom, the new issue of Jubilee is in!" Yeah, thanks, pal. Well, you know what? It was another good issue! So there! As opposed to New Avengers, this book stands with She-Hulk and Fantastic Four as about the only Marvel titles trying to keep the grim & gritty from taking over completely.

There's always one comic I forget. I know I got five comics this week. I didn't get Brubaker's second issue of Captain America, or Kirkman's Fantastic Four: Foes, although I had both of them in my hand at one point... I liked the first issue of Captain America, and the FF:F book looked all right, but I think I'll wait for the trades on both those titles. (Take that, comics industry!)

Oh! I know. Flaming Carrot Comics. Mike is clearly a big fan; in the store, he gleefully pointed out the new issue to me. So I thought I'd give it a try. About my only previous exposure to this character was through his appearance in Cerebus a million years ago. I think I paged through some of the regular Carrot comics back then, and didn't care for them. Too weird, didn't like the art. I did like this issue, but Burden's art hasn't improved a great deal since then; a lot of it really looks rough, especially the women characters. But I enjoyed the insanity I found so off-putting years ago. The Flaming Carrot is basically a madman, spouting non sequiturs while assaulting his enemies with a baloney gun. Funny stuff. I laughed a number of times, enough to get me past some of the weaknesses in the book.

COMICS: Wed. 12/15/04 continued

Girl Genius: I love Phil Foglio, and have ever since the days of "What's New?" in Dragon magazine and his Myth Adventures illustrations. This comic continues his winning streak, with great humor, great adventure, and his seemingly endless parade of fantastically inventive creatures and machines. (This issue featured an excellently chilling demon horse, and some tremendously cool giant spiders.) The world in Girl Genius is huge and fascinating, and the overriding mystery of the Heterodyne family is engaging. But (there's always a but)... when the title switched over from B&W to color (about six issues ago), the artwork got a lot rougher, sketchier; it looks like the colors are being applied directly to the pencils, with no inking stage in between. Am I wrong here? And the backgrounds being used during this forest storyline are photographs, which tends to pull me out of the art. Not photographs traced with pencils or inks, as I've seen in many comics: just undoctored color photographs of forest scenes, with the characters laid over the top. It has the exact reverse desired effect on me -- it makes the art look less realistic; when the cartoony characters are contrasted with the photo backgrounds, it's jarring to the eye. But hey, if it's a time-saving device for Phil, and it means I can get a reliably on-time supply of Krosp, Emperor of the Cats, then I guess I'll take it and be glad!

Ex Machina: Love the art, love the story, love the characters. The sequence in the subway was truly disturbing (although, and I'm probably not alone on this, I could've done without the use of the term "gay-ass" -- there's such a plethora of other wonderfully vile and descriptive curse words to be used; why are there suddenly a plethora of authors resorting to using the word "gay" pejoratively?), and I loved the reaction to Hundred's zap-gun. I was a little let down with the ending of the previous storyline; this arc is shaping up to be much more intriguing.

Fantastic Four: It's a shame this is Waid's and Wieringo's final story on the FF. It's been a great run. And I never would've gotten in on it if it hadn't been for that 25 cent (whatever happened to the cent symbol on a keyboard?) issue that started it off. Excellent marketing job, Marvel! (Wow, it actually hurt me to say that.) I'm not a fan of Galactus; he's always seemed like a pretty dopey character to me. But these guys have a way of making previously unenjoyable characters extremely fun and interesting. Has there been word yet on who's taking over after they leave? (Meaning, can I safely drop this comic again?)

Madrox: I have to say, this has been a very disappointing series to me. What's happening with Jamie and his malfunctioning duplicates is interesting, and I like Rahne and Strong Guy, but the stories they're involved with are... I don't know how to say this any more nicely: lame. Totally lame. I don't give a rat's ass about the case Jamie's following, nor any of the characters he's met, and I don't give a crap about who killed who or why. As a mystery, it's completely failed to engage me, which is frankly perplexing to me, considering how much I usually enjoy Peter David's work. And the less said about the philandering astral projection Rahne has been following (who's turned out to be seeing another man!! Oh, I'm flabbergasted, I'm shaken to my very core!!! By which I mean, what a stupid, stupid twist, a twist which stopped being shocking, or even mildly surprising, about thirty years ago), the better.

Marvel Team-Up: I liked it. I was actually surprised by the reveal on the final page. I'm interested in seeing where this is headed. Which puts this comic light years ahead of the previous Marvel work Robert Kirkman has done, like Captain America or the 2099 books. (Okay, I like Jubilee, too, but don't tell anyone.)

Demo: This completely failed to interest me in any way. I shouldn't have given in and bought it. I really don't know what all the fuss was about this issue, other than the fact that it was the end of an otherwise interesting series. Two people walk around town to bad poetry. Whoop-de-doo. And the back-up story? Even worse. I've said before that I've liked, but not loved, the issues of this series that I've checked out; this final issue, I liked nothing about it, nothing at all. Bummer.

COMICS: Addendum

The answer to the brain teaser in my previous post: I did only get eight comics; Captain America is the one I didn't get.

Did I forget to buy it, or did I deliberately put it back on the shelf? If the latter -- well, maybe I'm not as much a sucker as I thought I was. Good for me!

COMICS: A personal test

I bought eight comics today. I'm going to try to list them all. (The bag's sitting out in the car.) And if I can't remember one of them, I'm going to drop the title. If it's a bad one, I shouldn't have been getting it in the first place. If it's a good one, serves me right.

Today actually should be easier than usual. I'm pretty excited about the whole bundle.

We've got Ennis and Bendis, of course: Punisher and The Pulse. Punisher more than The Pulse I'm looking forward to; I still haven't quite broken the Bendis knee-jerk purchasing habit, but I think I have finally forced myself to dump Daredevil. Not that I mean to suggest I haven't been enjoying The Pulse; I have. It's just, how many Bendis comics do I need?

Then there's Kirkman: Marvel Team-Up (which I skipped last week because my eyes just brushed past the "MTU" on the cover. Muhtoo? I didn't want a comic called Muhtoo...), and The Walking Dead, which is pretty damn quick, the last issue was out just last week.

Peter David is represented: Madrox. It feels good to be buying a David title again. I dropped Fallen Angel fairly early on; something about it just didn't quite win me over. Can't wait for his return to The Incredible Hulk.

Then there's Ed Brubaker, with Captain America. I just suffered through Kirkman's lousy run on the title; why am I doing it again? I don't give a rat's ass about Captain America. But I'll give the Brubaker version a try, I guess. I'm a sucker.

Brian K. Vaughan's in there, with Ex Machina. I'm glad this series seems to be catching on. It's like the TV show Lost (which is big in the ratings) -- I'm relieved that for once the rest of the public seems to agree with me on a quality product.

And then there are the two "fun" books of the week, She-Hulk and Fantastic Four. And that should be the whole list!

Wait, that's nine. Did I miscount the comics in my bag? Or did I forget to buy something? (I know that I almost bought Matt Howarth's Bugtown, but didn't; it just didn't look as interesting as the old Post Bros. comics used to. But that's not what's messing up my count.) Usually I forget one of the comics I bought; this time I seem to be remembering one too many. Weird. Well, if it's nine, then more comic goodness for me! If it turns out I've got only eight: DAMMIT!

And on top of however many comics that is, I also got the final Peter Milligan X-Force TPB. Damn, I went crazy today. Good thing I won at poker this weekend!

COMICS: Wed. 10/13/04

After I complained yesterday about buying so many comics, I was very pleased that so many of them were so good.

The Hard Time TPB is excellent, as Dorian, Ken, and others have been saying all along. And it's such a great value -- ten bucks for six issues. It's a unique take on the superpower genre: a 15-year-old's powers manifest just before he's locked in prison, likely for the rest of his life. I had some quibbles -- why was he convicted in the first place, if even the cops (as his lawyer says) admit he never fired his gun, or at least why was he not convicted of a lesser charge, rather than the full murder counts; and, however much I appreciate his sarcastic humor, it's in no way believable that a kid could be so flip to the other convicts and not get killed 87 times before sundown on his first day, powers or not. But the rough situation, which I don't think has ever been portrayed so extensively, or so well, in mainstream comics before, and the sharply defined and interesting characters make this a fantastic read.

The Authority: More Kev: Good, funny stuff, especially the Midnighter's confrontations with idiot Kev. I'd be upset if someone threw a nuclear bomb in my face, too.

Demo: Eh. There was an interesting twist toward the end, but I wasn't invested enough in the characters to be shocked or say, "Whoa!" Instead, I think I said, "Huh." Let me go back: yeah, that was the extent of my reaction. "Huh." I doubt I'll get the next issue; might get the final issue the month after.

Fables: Very funny issue. The expression of Snow's face as she says, "A litter? I'm having a litter?" is just priceless. I'm glad Buckingham is back and the story is moving forward again.

Captain America: Limp ending to a lame arc. So it was a SHIELD-designed robot replica of Diamondback? Dude, whatever. One order of machina, extra deus on top. And what's with that ending: "Maybe we should just get a room." When did Steve Rogers turn into the Mack? Kirkman really disappointed me on this book.

She-Hulk: This continues to be one of my favorites. I love the non-traditional, but clean and appealing art. I love the humor. I love the characters. I love that after Jen finds Drax the Destroyer, the Silver Surfer, et al. have all been defeated already, she says, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." I love that the Silver Surfer's board has a splint on it. A splint! You know you've been in a fight when your surfboard needs a splint. This book is a big bundle of fun. Pick it up; don't let it get cancelled.

Challengers of the Unknown: Maybe I should've waited for the TPB. Chaykin's stories are packed with so much plot and characters, they just read better when you can go through them all at once. I think this was the best issue since the first, with plans and motivations revealed; I'm curious to see if Chaykin can wrap it all up satisfactorily in the one remaining issue. And what was with the Ann Coulter surrogate, Jan Boulton, quitting her job at the Fox News-type network? Was that explained in this issue, or was it set-up for the next?

Secret War: Three issues in and we still don't know what the hell is going on. I guess Bendis is planning on keeping the war a secret from the readers as well. The art is gorgeous; it's a shame it doesn't have a story worthy of it. What little story there is: I couldn't believe that four pages after the staples, the middle of the book, the story abruptly ended. The staples mean you've got half the book left, not four goddam pages. What a rip-off. And I really wasn't pleased that a phone transcript between Captain America and SHIELD, a conversation which was wisely left out of the main story because it was boring and pointless, took up seven goddam pages of the book. You're working my last fucking nerve, Bendis.

Powers: And yet I still enjoyed this book. Walker follows one sick and twisted false lead, and Pilgrim -- wow. That was one surprise ending. Well, it surprised the hell out of me, anyway. I think I need to cut my monthly Bendis intake back to this and... well, just this. (I already only get the TPBs of Ultimate Spider-Man.)

Ex Machina: Like She-Hulk, another book everyone should get. Smart, surprising, funny, cool, controversial. It's great stuff. The snowplow-driver serial killer storyline came to an unexpectedly sudden, and not entirely satisfactory end, but the bits with Kremlin, and the flashbacks, continue to fascinate me, as do the political maneuverings. This Brian Vaughan kid, he might have a career in comics.

COMICS: Holy Crap

I just topped the $70 mark at the comic store. Mother of pearl! That needs to not happen again any time soon. Over half of that is two TPBs; James Kochalka's American Elf, collecting the daily strips from his website for the last, like, 87 years -- seriously, it's a fat book, and priced to match ($29.95) -- and Hard Time, which many people have been recommending to me for a while now (and it's quite a bargain -- six issues for $9.95).

But then I got nine other comic books. Criminy! A year ago, I didn't buy nine titles total. Nine in one week is pretty damn excessive. For me, anyway. I bet I couldn't even name them all without looking. Let's try:

Powers
She-Hulk
Demo (because I didn't pick it up last week)
Captain America
Fables
Challengers of the Unknown
Ex Machina
Secret Wars

Um... I'm stalling out. That's eight, one left. Damn. I can tell you I didn't get Punisher; I'm still waiting for that awful, never-ending current story arc to wrap up (I think this was its last issue).

JESUS! This is just disgraceful. I'm spending money on titles I can't even remember two minutes after looking at 'em. I need to cut back on my comics purchases, and cut back hard. Okay, I can't stand the suspense, I'm gonna go look.

It was The Authority: More Kev. Well, at least that's the last of the four issue series. That's one off my list. And I was going to drop Captain America after this one, if I still didn't like Robert Kirkman's writing, but then Dorian told me that this is Kirkman's last issue anyway. "Oh good, I can drop it!" I said. "Ed Brubaker's writing it next," he said. "Crap," I said. Guess I'm not dropping it yet.

Man, looking at the first eight -- if I had to force myself to cut half of them, it'd be a tough choice. Okay, Cap would be pretty easy. Probably Challengers would be next (I'm guessing it'd read better as a TPB, anyway), then Demo (which I like, but don't absolutely love the way some bloggers seem to), and probably Secret Wars would be the last, because one Bendis title should be enough for any one week.

I've got a lot of comic reading to do tonight. Plus about 20 hours of Farscape on tape. Not to mention the TiVo backlog. And I still haven't finished the new Stephen King, or even America (The Book). I'm poor and friendless, I guess is my point. Bummer.

COMICS: Shameful confession

My shameful confession:

I really like Jubilee.

The comic, not the character. Or, not the character specifically, just what Robert Kirkman is doing with her on the new book. I don't really know anything about what I'm sure is the rich and fascinating backstory of Jubilee (she's basically a ripoff of Robin, right?), but Kirkman's using her well here.

This is more like Invincible than any of Kirkman's other books, and since Invincible is my favorite Kirkman book -- one of my favorite comics now being published, period -- that's just fine with me.

It's a very simple, character-driven high school story, with the whole mutant powers thing being very secondary (so far) to the daily interactions between Jubilee and the other people at school -- the popular, the unpopular, the faculty. There's a bit of intrigue with Jubilee's aunt, which seems to be coming to a head, and that's interesting, but it's not really what's got me hooked on the book; it's well-written and funny, with good characters, and that's what's got me hooked. It's far better than any of Kirkman's recent 2099 books, and it beats the hell out of his Captain America (one more issue of that and I'm done, this time for sure, I swear).

And no, I'm not kidding about any of this.

Or, as Dorian suggested at the comic shop yesterday, maybe I just like reading about teenage girls.

COMICS: Wed. 9/29/04

For someone who's listed on the Comic Weblog Updates page, I don't write about comics a whole awful lot. Well, here's some thoughts on yesterday's purchases.

Daredevil: Didn't read it.

Amazing Spider-Man: Didn't read it.

Invincible: Didn't read it.

New Frontier: Didn't read it.

No wonder I don't write about comics very much. By the time I read the damn things, it's irrelevant.

I did read all the Marvel 2099 books (and by the way, thanks a pantsload for putting them all out on the same day, Marvel! Way to serve the typical fan's budget best. Douchebags). I bought all five of them, because Robert Kirkman wrote them. Okay, I think I've finally been cured of that habit.

Not that they were all bad. Just that none of them were really spectacular. And I was surprised that all the issues were one-and-done. (I'm sure everyone else was aware of this, but I guess I don't really pay attention to much of anything that's happening in comics other than what I can see right in front of me on the shelves.)

I liked Punisher 2099 just for the fact that Kirkman followed up on the Punisher/Elektra love connection Garth Ennis threw out as a joke a year or two ago. So Frank and Elektra have a baby in 2038 (according to the dates on Cassandra's tombstone)? Let's see, Frank was in Vietnam, so, being extremely generous, let's say he was 21 in 1975. That would make him a proud papa at the age of 84! Take that, Tony Randall! Hell, forget Frank -- Elektra's the one who had to suffer through an octogenarian labor. That'll break a hip. Other than that little bit of backstory, I didn't much care for the issue, though. Even Pop Mhan's art, which I dig on SpyBoy, didn't really thrill me here.

Mutant 2099: The brain of Reed Richards in a Ben Grimm robot. That should have been a lot cooler than it was. I just kept thinking, why don't the Sentinels catch Reed and the kid, already? Reed's flying around in his jetcar, the kid's zapping Sentinels -- but they easily evade capture. And there's a gigantic mole people invasion right out in broad daylight, and no Sentinels show up? They're really pretty ineffective, aren't they? How the hell did they defeat every superpowered being on Earth?

Inhumans 2099: This had a very dark and interesting twist at the end, but I think it would've worked better for me if I knew who the hell the Inhumans were. I mean, I know who they are, I'm aware they exist, I've seen them in comics like Fantastic Four, and, I don't know, X-Men or Hulk, I guess, but they never really interested me. The only one whose name I knew was Black Bolt, and I didn't even know he had a brother. So, yeah, some of the impact of the ending was lost on me. Still: pretty cool.

Black Panther 2099: I know nothing of Black Panther. Does the current version often fight Doctor Doom? Seems like a bit of a mismatch to me, but whatever. And are the Sentinels confined only to America? You'd think, if they could've destroyed every single superhero, they could've gotten to Doom in Latveria, too. But again: whatever. And the issue as a whole? You guessed it: whatever.

Daredevil 2099: This was probably my favorite of the 2099s. I really liked the ending, where we learn Fisk is not just carrying on the tradition of Matt Murdock, he's carrying on his grandfather's as well, committing evil as the Kingpin and atoning for it as the Daredevil. How Catholic of him! And I liked that, in Kirkman's world, the original Kingpin eventually defeated and killed Daredevil. Good story.

So, all in all, I'd say this 2099 experiment was a bit of a failure. None of them were really designed to be continuing stories, but if they did turn into regular series, or if a generic Marvel 2099 title were launched, I doubt I'd buy any of them. Which is a failure in my eyes.

And I've learned to stop buying comics just because Kirkman's name is on the cover. Invincible and Walking Dead, yes. Anything else: doubtful. I mean, why the hell am I still buying Captain America? It's quite bad. (Although I have to admit, I kind of enjoyed the first issue of Kirkman's Jubilee. I'm a teenage girl, apparently.)

COMICS: Wed. 8/11/04

Bite Club: This one isn't really holding up in the long run. First Risa has her silly, kitty cat-inspired epiphany last issue; this issue Leto goes from good guy to bad way too quickly to be convincing. One minute he's a priest, next minute he's taking over the crime family, feeding the Monsignor to the crocodiles, giving his sister a hot kiss, and banging his old girlfriend. This book never transcended its "vampire gangsters" high concept the way I hoped it would.

Challengers of the Unknown: On the other hand, I think Chaykin's other book is getting better each issue. More backstory filled in, more frighteningly evil activity from the Fox News surrogates, and now this religious mysticism -- when she says "Holy Grail," is that a euphemism, or is that really the Holy Grail? I still couldn't name the five Challengers for you, but I'm fascinated by their story, and Chaykin's storytelling with his art is fantastic.

Captain America: I am really disappointed with this book. Kirkman's writing, which I enjoy so much elsewhere, is mediocre at best here. It's by turns corny, obvious, and dumb. Seriously, Diamondback slips a mickey into Cap's drink? That's the Red Skull's brilliant evil plan? Lame. And the SHIELD conspiracy is even lamer, falling for a trick from Red Skull more obvious than "Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip." And Batroc? What the? Laaaaaame. And what's with Batroc saying he's never seen Captain America so brutal? #1, Cap certainly is nowhere near "brutal" here, and #2, Batroc obviously missed those Marvel Knights issues where Cap was nothing but an intense, "brutal" downer. Kirkman is trying to make Cap lighter and more brutal at the same time, and you simply can't have it both ways. He's aiming for goofy, old school fun (I presume), but he's really missing the mark. I had high hopes for Kirkman coming over to Marvel; I'm still looking forward to his Marvel Team-Up, but much less so now.

SpyBoy: Pop Mhan's art looks different, and nowhere near as good as it normally does. Is it just me? Is it a rush job? Is the inker not quite getting his style? What? And this story seems off to me. Alex's grandfather and the SHIRTS agent seem surprised by the appearance of SpyBoy, when they really shouldn't be. And if SpyBoy is going after SpyGuy with extreme prejudice, why didn't he just shoot him when he had the chance? This story isn't coming together very well for me at all.

Fables: Now that's a hell of a next-issue teaser: Frankenstein vs. the Wolf Man! Cool. Too bad Mark Buckingham is off the art chores for this story; I can't tell one damn soldier from another. This issue is a decent enough interlude, but I'd rather get back to the main Fables action. This is only going to be a two-issue story, right?

Powers: Okay, we learn a little more about the new Retro Girl. Could she be the original Retro Girl's daughter? Could Walker be a daddy? I have no idea if that's the conclusion I'm supposed to be reaching or not. And Deena may be a badass in the interrogation room, but she really needs some lessons in her field work. She's always getting her ass kicked. Why would she go by herself to a superpowered suspect's door? An okay issue, mostly for the interrogation stuff, but not great.

It seems like I'm forgetting something. I usually do. Oh well.

COMICS: Fandom

I wish I were the world's biggest fan of something.

Mike is the world's biggest Swamp Thing fan. Corey is the world's biggest Green Lantern fan. Dorian is the world's biggest Wildcat fan. Neilalien is the world's biggest Dr. Strange fan. Laura "Tegan" Gjovaag is the world's biggest Aquaman fan.

I'd like to say I'm the world's biggest Incredible Hulk fan, but if that were true, I would've been the one to create the brilliantly funny (but too-infrequently updated) Hulk's Diary. Plus, I'm only a fan when the comic doesn't suck, which it currently does. It's possible I'm the world's biggest Grimjack fan, but only if Uncle Elvis has left the building. Hell, I thought I might even be the world's biggest Replacement God fan, but even an obscure (but excellent) b&w fantasy/humor comic that hasn't released a new issue in five years has its own (mostly abandoned) fan site.

So I'm just going to pick something and go with it. As of now, I am officially the world's biggest fan of...

Rick Jones.

Author, folk singer, talk show host, professional sidekick. He was indirectly responsible for the creation of the Hulk; he was Captain America's replacement Bucky; he was sidekick to Space Knight Rom; he was bonded via the nega-bands to two Captain Marvels.

I am now his biggest fan in the world. (Prove me wrong, children, prove me wrong!) And I will not rest until Rick Jones gets his own ongoing monthly series! Or until I get bored with him.

COMICS: Wed. 7/28/04

Avengers: As a long-time non Avengers fan, I don't even know what to make of this. I'm totally buying it only because Bendis is writing it. Okay, before anything else, I have to say, TWO double-page spreads of the Avengers Mansion blowing up seems excessive. I barely know most of these characters, but Bendis does a decent job of giving them personalities before the shit starts to fly; the Hawkman/Madame Hydra bit is funny and believable, and got an extra kick from his turning it around on She-Hulk (even though I know from her own comic that she doesn't even live in Avengers Mansion anymore... details, details). So, Ant-Man's dead. Moment of silence, please (in which I try to remember who the hell Ant-Man is. I thought Hank Pym was Ant-Man. Who's this guy? Was he the guy dating Jessica a year ago in Alias?). And the Vision crashes into the Mansion, melts like the Wicked Witch of the West, and coughs up Ultron hairballs. Cool.

All that's interesting enough, but it's the personality changes in other characters that really intrigues me. What is making Tony Stark feel like he's drunk? What is driving She-Hulk berserk (and causing her to rip the Vision in half and pummel Captain America senseless -- which, as bad as the situation is, was still completely badass)? This issue has gotten me hooked. I'll stick around for more of this Disassembled nonsense, even though I hate crossovers and don't really care about the Avengers. By which I mean, I'll stick around for the books written by the good writers, like Bendis and Kirkman. (Assuming Kirkman's next issue of Captain America is better than his first.)

Powers: Am I supposed to remember who this new girl who's dressing up as Retro Girl is? Cause I don't. Is this a character that was introduced ages ago, or is she brand new, and I shouldn't feel bad about not recognizing her? Second issue of the reboot wasn't as excellent as the first; Oeming's art looks rushed in places, and Bendis draws out the interrogation scenes a little too long (Bendis padding a story? Shocking!). But it's still a good issue.

The Walking Dead: The new artist is starting to bug me. Tony Moore was so excellent at creating detailed, individual characters; with Charlie Adlard, I can hardly tell one character from another. Which bearded man is this? And Kirkman's foreshadowing was a little blunt: Carol is suddenly content, and accepting of things she had so recently condemned; I'm sure she's going to live a nice, long, happy life. As long as a zombie doesn't eat her face... oh, DAMN!! Didn't see that coming!!

Fantastic Four: This storyline had potential in the beginning, but I was disappointed with this finale. First of all, strange as it may be to say it, what with my constant criticism of the padding of Marvel arcs out to unnecessary lengths: this issue felt rushed and crowded; it might have been better with one more issue to wrap things up. Then again, that might only have added one more unenjoyable issue to the story. Waid seemed to lose his control of the villain characters; instead of the interesting individuals they started out as, they fell back into corny villain cliches at the end. I stopped caring about Cole and stopped believing in her mini-romance with Johnny. Glad there's a new story next issue.

Astonishing X-Men: Last week, it took me forever to remember one of the comics I had bought. Same thing this week, and this was the comic. Still not astonished by it. The art, yes; the art is gorgeous. But the writing... I want to like it, because it's Whedon, but I just don't. The conflict in this issue is especially contrived: I didn't for a second believe that Wolverine and Beast would attack each other full-out, claws bared, smashing through the walls of the school, because of that stupid serum. Not for a second. It was so blatantly, "we need a fight scene, who would it be cool to see fighting?" And would any student, anywhere, ever, actually ask a teacher, "Are you a fucking retard?" (And not get the shit kicked out of him.) I guess I'm sticking with this book because I want to believe it could be great, even though it isn't even close yet.

COMICS: More on Wed. 7/14/04

Okay, let's try this again.

Superman/Batman: As I said before, this story needs to end. Batman and Superman's dueling captions have been saying the exact same thing for, what four issues now?

BATMAN: I don't trust anyone because mommy didn't hold me enough. Superman's a chump and a doofus.
SUPERMAN: Batman's got a stick up his ass. I'm totally right to put all my trust in someone I've known for three days.

(I may be paraphrasing a little.) And I'm getting a little tired of Michael Turner's art. It's gorgeous in places, but everyone is starting to look like a Kate Moss-type, heroin-chic cover model.

She-Hulk: Don't care for the new artist. I don't know if this is a permanent art change, but I hope not. I mean, She-Hulk is actually wearing that purple and white skintight uniform on the cover inside the comic now. That's not an improvement. The last artist made some weird alterations to fairly well-established character designs, like the Thing and Spider-Man, but they were pleasantly eye-catching changes. The new art is more standard action fare. I hope this title doesn't start playing down to generic superhero expectations, rather than remaining the unique genre-busting book I became a fan of. (Although I have to admit, I got a kick out of seeing Nova knocked across town.)

Captain America: I'm a fan of Robert Kirkman's Invincible and The Walking Dead, but his writing debut here did not impress me at all. The characters speak in awkward phrases and corny cliches; Captain America is portrayed as a lunkhead on cruise control. The best part was the peek at Hydra's break room, but that was it for originality. Disappointing.

Fables Also disappointing. After eight issues of the Wooden Soldiers, all the conflicts are resolved off-page. Bigby wipes out the Wooden Soldiers, but we only get to see the Gingerbread House Witch's description of it. And the Witch vs. Red Riding Hood/Baba Yaga battle is only shown in one panel, reflected in King Cole's eye. Lame. After eight issues of build-up, we deserve to witness those resolutions. Also, Snow White's running and embracing Bigby was way out of character. First issue of Fables that let me down. At least there's a new story next issue.

Punisher: Which is more than I can say for this title. I've already complained about this tedious storyline before. All I'll add now is, I wish every goddam story in every goddam Marvel Comic weren't Constitutionally required to be six goddam issues.

Scurvy Dogs: Hilarious as always. Everyone should get this book. This issue, Blackbeard's crew gets swept up in a media frenzy orchestrated by Buck Rogers in the 25th Century's Dr. Theopolis -- remember him? He was the talking disc Twiki carried around his neck. Twiki dumped him, and now a gasoline-drinking Rod Stewart carries him instead. This book is sheer comic genius.

Street Angel: As is this one. I picked up the second issue because of a mention of it in John Jakala's Grotesque Anatomy (oddly enough, in a post with a negative review of the upcoming third issue). I really want to go into this issue in more detail, because its insane comedic brilliance deserves proper attention, but I will mention it involves a Mexican wresting mask-wearing Incan sun god, Spanish Conquistador Cortez, who strangely enough has a pegleg and talks like a movie pirate, a bunch of ninjas who ride fire engines into battle (so much for that vaunted ninja stealth!), Cosmick, the world's first Irish astronaut (Cosmick, get it?), and Jesse, a teenage girl, master of the martial arts, and the world's greatest homeless skateboarder, who fights against "ninjas, drugs, nepotism, and pre-algebra as Street Angel." I loved this book.

COMICS: Wed. 7/14/04

I just spent over an hour on a comics post that just got obliterated because Blogger's "improvements" to their post creation form are buggy as hell and suck copious amounts of ass. I even right-clicked and saved the text as a precaution: the crash still erased it all. Blogger is a severely shitty site.

GOD DAMN IT!!!

I'm so furious I can't even attempt to recreate the post now. I'm done. Here, here's my frickin' update: Street Angel is awesome, The Punisher and Superman/Batman need to finish their tedious current storylines right now, the finish of the Wooden Soldiers story in Fables was surprisingly disappointing, Chaykin's Bite Club is just okay, while his Challengers of the Unknown is excellent, visually exciting with a compelling story, though the characters are all underdeveloped so far, and The Pulse was typical Bendis, meaning the story is padded beyond belief, but I still liked it, the dialogue, and the characters.

And I haven't yet read She-Hulk, Robert Kirkman's debut on Captain America, Scurvy Dogs, and Eightball.

God damn lousy Blogger.