TV: Last of the Fall Season 2005 Previews, I promise

Let's see what crap-tastic fare awaits us on the WB and UPN!

WB's Just Legal has to be a temporary title. It has to be. Are they seriously thinking of airing a show whose title is strongly reminiscent of almost-underage porn? Oh, wait, it's the WB. Maybe they are. As for the show itself: sounds like Doogie Howser, Esq. I like Jay Baruchel (although I think he's beyond playing 18), but Don Johnson... eh, when he works, he works. He might work here.

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Also on the WB, Supernatural follows Carlos Santana as he teams up with a different musical guest star each week to create a Latin-flavored pop song. Wait -- wrong Supernatural. This Supernatural was pitched as Route 66 meets The X-Files, I imagine. It stars Rory's doormat boyfriend from Gilmore Girls and Lana's tool boyfriend from Smallville. Let me show you exactly where this show lost me.

This fall, The WB will usher in a new generation of storytelling set in the dark world of the unexplained.

No, not yet, although that is obnoxiously cheesy.

Filmmakers McG and

There you go! Say no more! McG is involved? I'm out! Get thee behind me, McG!

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UPN's Sex, Lies & Secrets stars 34-year-olds Denise Richards and Tamara Taylor in this "fresh, edgy new drama" about "twenty-somethings". I guess it is fresh and edgy for the "something" in "twenty-something" to mean "fourteen".*

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UPN's Love, Inc., about a matchmaker who can't find herself a man, raises two questions: who looked at Miss Match and decided, "That show would've worked perfectly if only it had starred Shannen Doherty instead of Alicia Silverstone"? And: who in their right mind would hire Shannen Doherty?

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Twins, sadly, is not the WB's adaptation of the Schwarzenegger/DeVito comedy. Instead, it's about two sisters, one of whom is pretty and one of whom is smart! Sara Gilbert must be so flattered she got cast as the smart one. Also, we get to see what has become of Mark Linn-Baker since Perfect Strangers went off the air. Judging from the cast photo: nothing good.

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*Meow! What a bitch!