TV: Top Ten of 2008

Used to be a tradition here at You Know What I Like? to sum up, at year's end, exactly what I did like in the preceding year, in the form of various Top Ten lists. Unfortunately, I didn't seem to absorb a lot of pop culture in 2008. I couldn't possibly write a Top Ten list for music. I maybe bought three or four new albums, tops. I can't attempt a Top Ten list of comics; I haven't collected regularly for years now. I could take a stab at movies, though I'm not entirely sure I've seen more than ten movies in the theater this year. I may have to double check that.

What I can do, though, is a Top Ten list of TV. Ah, good ol' TV. Always there, always reliable. Oh, except for 2008 kind of sucked for TV, overall, what with coming off the writer's strike, all kinds of shows being forced into hiatus at the beginning of the year, just when they were getting interesting. The strike also helped result in a pretty damn lackluster Fall premiere season. Not a lot of keepers out of that mangy lot.

Still, when TV was good in 2008, it was very very good. (And when it was bad, which was more often than not, it was horrid.) So here are my picks, only a few weeks late, for the ten best shows of 2008.

1. The Shield
How could it be anything else? The final season of this landmark drama started out a little slow for me, with a little too much emphasis on the "Blackmail Box" MacGuffin. But it built to the most emotionally powerful and rewarding final two episodes in television history. Shane didn't exit the way I expected him to, but it was all the more achingly devastating for not seeing it coming. Walton Goggins richly deserves Emmy consideration. Speaking of earning that Emmy: I don't know which was more riveting, Michael "Vic Mackey" Chiklis's chilling testimony in the penultimate episode, or his condemnation to the hell of his own making in the finale. When he pulls the gun out of his file cabinet at the end, what do you think is going on? Is it an empty reminder of the man he used to be? Or is it a promise that he plans to go out on his own terms? Not suicide -- never suicide, for Vic. He is the ultimate survivor. No, I mean: is he going to go fuck shit up any way he can, within the confines of his cubicle prison, in a neverending game of raising stakes? Because it never seems to be about the win, for Mackey; it always seems to be about the gamble. As despicable as Mackey proved himself to be -- I hope it's the latter. I hope that shark keeps swimming.

2. 30 Rock
The third season has been a little overstuffed with guest stars that don't quite work (how can Steve Martin not be an automatic home run?), but with Tracy's pornographic video game and his gold shoes and money suit, Jack's romance with C.C. (Edie Falco) and his battles with Devon Banks (Will Arnett), Liz's ill-advised reunion with the Beeper King turned Subway Hero and her struggles to adopt, Kenneth's... well, everything Kenneth does, ever, but especially his engineering of a Night Court reunion, and the insanely uproarious finale to the second season (featuring a guest star who did live up to his full potential, and more, Matthew Broderick as "Cooter"), 2008 was an incredible year for the funniest show on TV.

3. How I Met Your Mother
I think 2008 is the year when it became common wisdom that Neil Patrick Harris is completely awesome as Barney (and HIMYM began to be taken seriously as a quality sitcom), and I think it's just a matter of time before he starts winning scads of awards like David Hyde Pierce. (Can't you so easily picture NPH as Niles, by the way?) The rest of the cast is very strong as well, especially my fave Cobie Smulders, whose chemistry with NPH is the highlight of the show, and the writing and direction are always clever and inventive. Best sitcom you're probably still turning your nose up at. (Don't end a sentence with a preposition? I end mine with two, suckas.)

4. Lost
The flash forwards, The Constant, the island disappearing -- this was a season for a lot of wow moments. The predetermined number of remaining episodes gave the fourth season direction and momentum it has often lacked in previous seasons, and the show hasn't been more consistently thrilling since the first four episodes. Can't wait for the fifth season to begin next week.

5. The Office
2008's first episode of The Office was one of the year's -- and the entire series' -- highlights: "Dinner Party," in which the spectacularly dysfunctional relationship between Michael and Jan was revealed in all its hideous glory. One of the best half hours of 2008 on any TV show. And the Fall season began with the beautifully bizarre mating of Michael and Holly, whose doomed relationship generated some genuine pathos amidst the hilarity. Throw in Ryan's coke-fueled downfall, Dwight and Angela's affair, and the show's success in keeping Pam and Jim both together and still interesting, and The Office showed no signs of slowing down.

6. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Much of the season built on the familiar formula of picking a topic, and having the Gang react like idiots to it (the gas crisis, home makeovers, healthcare) -- and don't get me wrong, I love that formula. Charlie in a green suit hitting someone in the balls never gets old. But this season also featured two unusually ambitious, and tremendously rewarding, departures: "The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell," a Revolutionary War period piece in which the Gang gets to call the British "dicks" a lot, and "The Nightman Cometh," the disastrous staging of Charlie's rock opera (which most of the rest of the Gang misinterprets as having a lot of man-boy rape). Always funny, in the crudest way possible.

7. Corner Gas
Either you like it or you don't. Me, I love this low-key comedy about a bunch of colorful eccentrics living life in the slow lane in Dog River, Saskatchewan. And I'm dying for WGN to begin broadcasting the final season in America (nine episodes of which have already aired in Canada).

8. House
This show falls too often into rote formula, but I enjoy House's new team a great deal (especially Kal Penn as Kutner, and let us not forget the recent OoMA, Olivia Wilde as Thirteen), as well as the tentative steps toward romance between House and Cuddy (though I am sorry private detective Lucas, Cuddy's seeming alternative romantic interest, was written out so quickly). And the heartbreaking storyline bridging seasons four and five, in which Wilson's beloved Amber died, basically as a direct result of coming to House's aid, was a thrilling and agonizing break from that familiar formula.

9. Battlestar Galactica
It was an uneven season (or first half of a season, with the second half set to commence tonight!), with way too much time spent on Starbuck's side quest. But, as usual, the beginning and ending of the arc were terrific; the climax, involving the abduction of Laura Roslin, the revelation of four of the final five to one and all, Baltar's messiah cult, the eventual truce between humans and Cylons, a beautiful 'shipper moment between Roslin and Admiral Adama, and the discovery of a nuclear war-ravaged Earth, was especially powerful.

10. Pushing Daisies
Often a little too whimsical for my taste, the show nonetheless boasted a truly original vision, from the color scheme to the oh-so-proper narration to the random outbursts of song (and cleavage) from Kristin Chenoweth. And it had a touching central romance between Chuck and the Piemaker. Plus Chi McBride as Emerson Cod was a total badass. Too bad it got the ax.

Honorable mentions:

The Sarah Silverman Program
Vulgar, stupid, offensive, filled with fart and balls jokes. Which is hilarious.

The Rachel Maddow Show
Vulgar, stupid... oh, wrong show. Sharp, funny, insightful. A new bright spot in cable news.

The Big Bang Theory
It makes me laugh. So there.

A Colbert Christmas
I rarely get the chance to watch Colbert's regular show anymore, but his Christmas special was ingenious, highlighted by a surprisingly sublime rendition of "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace Love and Understanding" as performed by Colbert, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Feist, John Legend, and Elvis Costello in a bear costume.

Allegedly great stuff that I didn't watch, though I swear I will catch up on most or all of it on DVD some day:

1. The Wire
Yes, yes, YES, I know it's the greatest TV show of all time (according to a lot of you). I'll get to it. Now lay off!

2. Mad Men
Watched the first couple-three episodes of the first season of this show, and I thought it was damn fine. Then... I don't know. I fell out of the habit. I missed an episode somehow, and didn't want to watch the next episode without seeing the previous one, and... now I haven't watched it since the beginning. That's my bad, and I know it.

3. Breaking Bad
I caught the first few episodes of the first season, and I thought it was brilliant. Bryan Cranston was an absolute revelation in his role as a cancer-ridden high school science teacher-turned-meth producer. But... same thing with Mad Men. I let it slip away from me. I will catch up!

4. Saving Grace
I watched the first couple episodes of the first season (starting to sound familiar?), and... eh. I love Holly Hunter, and I admired her work in this show, especially the parts where she kept getting drunk and naked, but the show as a whole didn't grab me. I know a lot of people have heaped a lot of praise on the show. But you gotta really, really sell me on any "angel" business you're gonna throw into my TV viewing, and Saving Grace fell short on that count. I found the supernatural aspects just laughable, which spoiled the whole thing for me.

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And there you go. What about you? Any of your favorites I didn't watch? Anything I did watch that you hate? Comment away!

Good Cop and Bad Cop left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop.

What am I doing tonight? I'm getting ready to watch the 90 105-minute finale of one of the greatest television series of all time.

I assume you are doing the same.

Thanksgiving preparations may prevent me from writing about The Shield's finale in a timely manner, but rest assured I'll be reading all of your posts on the matter, and will eventually pitch in my own two cents as well. Now, go! Watch!

More TV Rundown

Yesterday, I said that the new season of The Shield has been a little weak so far. Then I finally got around to watching this week's episode on TiVo.

Holy hell. Now that was what I was looking for! Talk about gut-wrenching. I barely took a breath from beginning (with Shane setting his plan to murder Ronnie and Vic into motion) to end (with Shane and family on the run, and every sin the Strike Team has ever committed on the verge of spilling out). How's that for raising the stakes? Brilliant, brilliant episode, highlighted by Shane's wild-eyed caged animal routine, punctuated by his flight from the Barn, and his evil wife Lady Macbeth -- I mean Maya -- confronting Vic's ex-wife.

What else am I watching?

--I've settled into regular viewing of House, which I used to watch sporadically at best, and it's been very enjoyable this year. I have to admit, I like the new team better than the old one -- in fact, I'd prefer Chase and Cameron just disappear entirely, rather than popping up in a random scene once an episode to remind us they still exist. I always love seeing Kal Penn, so his role as Kutner on the new team is much appreciated, and I like Taub a great deal as well. And as for Thirteen -- well, Olivia Wilde is just damn easy on the eyes, folks. Not that Cameron isn't, as well, but I feel like her character has been run into the ground. I'd also like to see the return of Lucas, the P.I. House hired this season, who last we saw was trying to start a relationship with Cuddy. (I haven't watched this week's episode, so maybe he's back already.) That could get interesting. Plus, I like the actor, who played Private Dancer on Scrubs last year.

--Pushing Daisies is amiable fluff. It's always gorgeous to look at, and I like the characters, and I get a kick out of the rapid-fire dialogue, but... I don't know, it just never quite gets over that wall. I'll keep watching it, but I think if I skipped an episode, I wouldn't cry.

--My Name Is Earl is just about done. After squandering all goodwill with that season-long prison/coma digression last year, I find that I'm now watching it out of habit, and not laughing very often. The Office, on the other hand, is still brilliant. Jim and Pam's engagement was handled perfectly, Amy Ryan is a terrific addition as Holly, the new object of Michael's affection, and the triangle between Dwight, Angela, and Andy is excruciatingly hilarious.

--Two imports have left wildly divergent impressions on me. I had high hopes for Kath & Kim, but the first episode was so unbearable I deleted it after five minutes. And I thought Life on Mars didn't have a hope in hell of succeeding, but I've loved the first two episodes, with Michael Imperioli's weaselly detective being the standout, and I look forward to more. I still don't see how they can extend the premise indefinitely, but I'm more than willing to see where it goes.

And there's probably some more stuff, but let's stop here. Any TV you've been especially loving or hating so far this season?

TV Rundown

A few brief thoughts on some current TV:

--I keep coming this close to giving up on Heroes, and then still watching, and hating, the next episode. Well, I forgot to set up the DVR for Monday night, and I missed the last episode. And I don't care. That's the push I needed: I'm out. How unbelievably awful has this season been, seriously? It's atrocious. And I'm glad to be rid of it.

--Unfortunately, I also forgot to record Chuck and My Own Worst Enemy. Chuck has been pretty damn good this year. As for My Own Worst Enemy -- I actually still haven't watched the first episode yet, so I don't know if I'm really missing anything there. I know some people were eagerly anticipating this show. Anybody watching it? Anybody liking it?

--I also also forgot to record Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. Monday is a busy TV night! I can wait for the Big Bang episode to come around again during reruns, but HIMYM is essential viewing for me, one of my five or so favorite shows currently airing. I'm going to have to track that one down online (hopefully it's already up at CBS.com). It's been a little wobbly in the early going this season, but it's always worth watching just to see how Neil Patrick Harris and Cobie Smulders play off one another. Great comedic chemistry between those two. And I do love me some Sarah Chalke, but it's obvious she's not the mother, so every time she shows up it feels a little like the show is just killing time until the inevitable breakup.

--I quit on Sons of Anarchy. It's good, but not great, despite some kickass performances from Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal. I've been cutting back on TV this year (hard to believe), and Anarchy never quite made it into that essential viewing category for me.

--The Shield, on the other hand, is in that category, but this final season has been, dare I say it, comparatively weak so far. All the nonsense with the magic Blackmail Box is getting old. And Vic's deal with the Armenian mob was so stupid it was laughable: I stole millions from you, but I'll give you three wishes and we'll call it even. Shyeah, right. But there've been some brilliant moments in there as well, mostly involving Shane. I was thrilled to see Tavon return and put Shane in his place -- that's been coming for about four years. And Shane's moment of realization that Vic and Ronnie had set him up was terrific. Only five episodes left of one of the greatest crime dramas ever. Things should start getting really ugly, really quickly.

More tomorrow. I'm going to track down that HIMYM episode now.

Sidebar Update!

Time for the coveted Sidebar Update! And barely a month after the last one! Who says I'm not on the ball around here? You? Well, you're a dirty, dirty liar.

The current Object of My Affection is Elizabeth Banks, whom I can't believe I've never mentioned before on this blog. I've been infatuated with her since her appearance as Betty Brant in the first Spider-Man, but where I really fell head over heels for her was when I discovered what a fantastic comedic actress she was in films like Wet Hot American Summer and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and her guest appearances on Scrubs. (She still wasn't enough to get me to see Fred Claus, though.) She, and Kevin Smith, are currently getting some of the best reviews of their careers for the upcoming Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which is a must-see for me. Smith will actually be here in Austin showing a sneak preview of the film on Thursday, though sadly I'll be at a concert and have to miss it. Dang it! Too much fun stuff at once in this crazy town! By the way, have you seen the movie poster which has been banned in the U.S.? I warn you, it will make your eyes bleed and destroy your moral values:


Shocking! Scandalous! By which I mean: whoop-de-fucking-doo. Canada has no problem with this poster. Canada! Jeez, get some balls, America.

Reading: like I said yesterday, I'm tackling David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest. I plan on keeping record of my current page count over on the sidebar, to help humiliate myself into getting through it in a timely fashion. And really, it's not an especially difficult book, or unpleasant to read; it's just the sheer immensity of it which is intimidating.

Watching: nothing is holding my attention quite like the final season of The Shield. Absolutely riveting, brilliant TV. Not to malign Mad Men, which is very fine, but how the hell does that show get a million Emmy nominations while The Shield doesn't get shit? For Michael Chiklis, Walton Goggins, Forest Whitaker and CCH Pounder to be overlooked in the acting categories is criminal. Seriously, what the hell does Pounder have to do to get the recognition she deserves? As I always seem to say this time of year: if you're nominating Mariska Hargitay for an acting award, you ain't looking hard enough.

Listening: Neil Young's On the Beach, which was recently released for the first time on CD. What a lovely, fantastic album, one I had never before been able to listen to. I was missing out. And the Lyric of the Moment comes from this album as well, from the song "Vampire Blues," which is about the oil industry and rampant gasoline consumerism raping the world. That song is 34 years old. Man, the more things change....

Hating: same jackass, different photo.

The Shield

SPOILERS AHEAD, up to but not including last night's episode, which I haven't watched yet (don't spoil it for me!).

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Last year, I somehow managed to miss out on the entire sixth season of The Shield, which long-time readers (if I still have any) well know I consider to be one of the very best shows on TV. A marathon DVD-viewing session this weekend has rectified that oversight, just in time for me to catch up on last week's seventh and final season premiere (which I've been saving on TiVo).

And holy cow, have I been missing out. As great as I always say this show is, it's only gotten better. The sixth season was brilliant. Possibly not quite up to the impossibly high standards of season five, in which Forest Whitaker's Lt. Kavanaugh debuted, and which was one of the ten (or so) best seasons of any TV show I've ever seen. But season six nonetheless was a whirlwind of violence, emotional trauma, and sheer intensity that had me riveted.

At the center of it all was the fallout from Shane's murder of Lem at the end of the fifth season. Shane is perhaps my favorite character (along with Dutch), but while he was going through his suicidal guilt I was hoping for him to pull the trigger, and when he confessed to Vic, I was hoping Vic would waste him right there. Shouldn't have messed with Lem! Of course Vic let Shane live, which will probably be the cause of Vic's downfall. Walton Goggins' Shane is a terrific character, cold and calculating one second, vulnerable and easily manipulated the next. Watching him react as he found out that he killed Lem because of Kavanaugh's trickery was devastating. I have the feeling that his inability to avoid getting suckered by the people he thinks he's controlling (like Antwon Mitchell, or the Armenians, or even his wife) will be the cause of his downfall.

Speaking of Kavanaugh, I was a little surprised to see Whitaker wrap up his guest role after only two episodes of the sixth season. It was a satisfying end, making complete his transformation into that which he pursued, but he was such an incredible character, and Whitaker so amazing in the role, that I was sorry to see him go. Maybe he'll be back.

According to the DVD extras, Franka Potente will be back in season seven as Diro Kesakhian, the daughter of the Armenian mob boss with whom Shane fell in at the end of the season. And that's fine with me. She was a lot less flashy or intense than Whitaker, but there was still a great deal of power in her character, and I'd like to see where she goes from here.

Jay Karnes as Dutch continues to entertain me to no end (minor trivia note: did you realize that he, Shane, and Vic are the only characters to appear in every episode so far?). He spent most of last season chasing Officer Tina and butting heads with his lazy, conniving new partner Billings, which was good stuff. When Billings tricked Dutch into showing up at Tina's house while she was having a tryst with Hiatt (not sorry to see that character leave, by the way), it somehow managed to be heartbreaking and cruelly hilarious at the same time. I was glad to see Billings return in the final season premiere, partly because David Marciano plays such a great weasel, but mainly because it gave Dutch a chance to nail him to the wall. And what will come of the kiss Dutch shared with Danny last season? I can't wait to see the excruciatingly awkward paths that will take.

With Lem gone, I love that David Rees Snell's Ronnie has had to step up and fill that void (both the actor and the character). Ronnie has been going to some dark places; his killing of the Armenian hitman was especially chilling, one of the coldest moments I've seen on the show. "Do you want me to answer that?" the hitman asks as Ronnie gets the information he needs from the hitman's cell phone. "That won't be necessary," Ronnie calmly replies, and BLAM! BLAM! puts two in the hitman's chest. Damn! I jumped out of my seat at that. Wow, Ronnie is a stone killer. Will he be the next Vic? Or Shane? Or worse?

I'm very glad I watched the sixth season immediately before the seventh season debut. The terrifying momentum has me watching the show like a freight train barrelling out of control. It's going off the tracks; the only questions are when, and who gets out alive? This is the best show on TV right now. I hope you're watching.

New TV

The new TV season has begun, and I just don't much give a crap. Not yet, at least. Not when all the new stuff is on the CW.

I watched some of that new 90210 over at a friend's house while we were having a barbecue, and while it wasn't immediately, overwhelmingly stupid, it certainly didn't achieve the level of scintillating entertainment I require from my television viewing (says the guy who hasn't yet missed an episode of The Big Bang Theory).

As I would expect from a show run by Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas, there were a few moments of humor, and there were actually a few surprisingly enjoyable references back to the old (I almost said "classic," which is a misnomer if ever there were one) series, such as a teacher's reference to Andrea Zuckerman's daughter: "What is she, 30?" (For those who never watched the old show, Gabrielle Carteris, who played Andrea, was the oldest of the original "kids," hitting 30 midway through the 1st season.) But during my admittedly fractured watching of the 2-hour pilot, I didn't find any new characters worth caring about, and seeing a reunion between the old show's Kelly, Brenda, and Nat isn't near enough to keep me tuning in.

Three other CW shows have returned with new episodes this week, but they are all beneath contempt, so: moving on.

Most other networks are holding off on new programming for three or four more weeks, but like the CW, Fox has also jumped the gun with new episodes this week: Prison Break is back, as is Bones. I quit on Prison Break a long while ago, though I get a kick out of the news that a character who was decapitated last year will be coming back to the show. Guess she got better. (Or rather, the actress has given up on her contract negotiations.) And Bones returned with a 2-hour special set in London, of which I saw about five minutes. Bones is occasionally fun but definitely non-essential viewing for me.

FX also premiered two shows this week, the final season of The Shield and the first episode of the new biker club drama, Sons of Anarchy, which is supposed to be brilliant. I TiVoed both, but haven't watched either yet. I still haven't seen the previous season of The Shield, but I've got all four discs from Netflix, and I'll be catching up this week. Hopefully I'll be able to start watching new episodes by next week. And Sons of Anarchy I plan on watching tonight and reviewing tomorrow. It's got Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal. That's gold, Jerry! Gold!!!

I have the feeling my TV watching (and blogging) will be much curtailed this new season. I'm definitely not going to watch every new show, as I've done in previous years. Too much of it looks like utter garbage. But I am a TV addict, after all, so I'll be checking in here and there with some of the new and some of the old. Let me know if there's anything I'm missing out on!

TV: Top Ten

It's that time of year for top ten lists. I love 'em, you love 'em, hell, in December, everyone with access to a keyboard loves 'em. There are a variety of lists I could create -- best movies, best comics, etc. -- and certainly (well, hopefully) those other lists will be coming in the week ahead, but I'll start with what I know best: my top ten TV shows of the year.

1. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
   Still the smartest, funniest show on the air. And at times, when they seem to be the only ones holding politicians accountable for their egregious lies, simply by letting them hang themselves with their own words, you wonder if it isn't the best news program as well. And for this show, and his shocking, thrilling, mesmerizing tirade on Crossfire last October, Jon Stewart is easily the greatest TV entertainer of the year.



2. Lost
   I surprised myself with this one (just as Lost keeps surprising me). When I thought about it, I realized that while I think The Daily Show is better overall, there is no other show on TV whose next episode I anticipate as eagerly as Lost. Fantastic casting from top to bottom (particularly the stunning newcomer Evangeline Lilly as Kate), stellar writing, a totally captivating mystery (several mysteries, really)... it's just great. Finally, a cult show I don't have to worry about disappearing too soon; firmly in the top ten, ratings-wise, this show's cult seems to be everybody.



3. The Shield
   This is why I'm surprised by Lost, because I'd previously held The Shield to be the best TV drama. (Best non-pay cable drama; I don't get HBO or Showtime, so I can't judge The Sopranos, Deadwood, The Wire, etc.) But Michael Chiklis' Vic Mackie remains the best written and acted character on television, and that's in a cast with nothing but brilliantly written and acted characters, including CCH Pounder as Det. Wyms, Jay Karnes as Dutch, and Walt Goggins as the loathsome Shane. This summer's season proved there's still a hell of a lot of kick left in this show; Tavon's horrifying car accident, and Dutch's murdering of a stray cat, remain the most affecting, chilling sequences on television this year.



4. Arrested Development
   This show has moved into my top sitcom slot this year; while I was hoping the new season could merely match its brilliant debut season, it's actually gotten better. This show trusts the audience to be smart enough to both pick up on subtle gags or throwaway jokes (like the Charlie Brown Christmas theme playing while George Michael sadly walks past a dog lying on top of a red doghouse in the background), and to actually use their memory and recall previous episodes (for example, Tobias' ongoing delusion that he's an understudy for the Blue Man Group isn't explicitly mentioned every episode -- but there's always a smear of blue paint on a wall or piece of furniture to give a laugh to those paying attention). This show's surprise win for Best Comedy at the 2004 Emmys doesn't seem to have helped it in the Nielsens; I wish everyone would watch this unbelievably hilarious show before it succumbs to poor ratings.



5. Scrubs
   Just edged out by Arrested as the funniest sitcom, it's still a tremendous half-hour. Zach Braff, Donald Faison, John C. McGinley, and perhaps my favorite, Neil Flynn as the vengeful Janitor, they're all great, and the writing of course is top-notch, but I want to mention another ingredient to this show's success: the choreography. The physical comedy, the lightning quick verbal exchanges, even the subtle gestures of one actor playing off another, they're all so perfectly timed for maximum comedic effect. There's so much going on for the eyes, this show would almost be as much fun to watch with the sound off.



6. Desperate Housewives
   After Lost, my second favorite new show this year. I wouldn't dare miss an episode; I love Felicity Huffman, I looooove Marcia Cross, and I can't wait to see what embarrassing and probably skin-revealing incident Teri Hatcher will get herself into each week. I'm aware it's just soapy, trashy fun on the level of Melrose Place. (Which I never watched, but judging how much I love Marcia Cross on Housewives, maybe I should've.) But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's pure enjoyment. It does feel weird including it on a list which should be celebrating greatness in TV -- Hill Street Blues, this isn't. But it's my list, and I can do whatever the hell I want with it.



7. South Park
   I balked at including a show in which one episode, mirroring the presidential election, centered on a vote between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. But this year South Park proved it's still as brilliantly satirical and side-splittingly hilarious as it's always been. The destruction of Mel Gibson in "The Passion of the Jew," which aired in the first half of the season, back in March, and the last new episode of this year, "Woodland Critter Christmas," featuring Disney-like forest creatures trying to birth the spawn of Satan, are on par with the best this show has ever offered; sick, biting, hysterical stuff.



8. Veronica Mars
   My third favorite new show of the year. There's an excellent overarching mystery involving the death of Veronica's best friend and her mother's subsequent disappearance, and Kristen Bell is fantastic as the lead character -- smart, cool, cute, vulnerable, funny. Enrico Colantoni lends excellent support as her father -- it's a great change seeing a TV father who's not only not clueless, but every bit as sharp and engaging as his offspring (unless it turns out he's not Veronica's biological father -- more mystery!) -- but the rest of the cast is uneven; I could especially do without "Weevil", the tiniest, most unrealistically threatening "hoodlum" since the Fonz.



9. Alias
   Last season was down a bit from the previous two, but, much like creator J.J. Abrams' new show, Lost, it's still rock-solid entertainment, with thrilling action sequences, shocking, over-the-top plot twists, great acting all around, a real sense of humor about itself, and nail-biting cliffhangers every week. It's my most anticipated mid-season premiere (January 5!), and its pairing with Lost is TV scheduling heaven.



10. Dinner for Five
    The best talk show on TV (The Daily Show, of course, is more than just a talk show), and the only uncensored one, as far as I know, Dinner for Five brings four celebrities together with host Jon Favreau at a different posh restaurant each week, plies them with food and liquor, and lets them go. Favreau occasionally tries to steer the conversation, but with guests like David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, Marilyn Manson, Andy Dick, Vince Vaughn, Kevin Smith, Sarah Silverman, Dom DeLuise, and Will Ferrell, sometimes he just winds them up and stands back. And it never fails to fascinate. The guests are given time to tell elaborate stories, and they often tell stories they wouldn't feel free to tell elsewhere (slamming people they've worked with, for example). They also are free to go off on extended comedic riffs, and to rip on each other as the whim strikes them. For anyone at all interested in show business, this is a can't-miss show. (Except, of course, it's on IFC, which means for most of you it's can't-catch.)

Let's take a look at a few other samples from my regular viewing:

Best Accidental Discovery
While flipping through channels one night, I ran across Cheap Seats on ESPN Classic (good luck for most of the country locating that channel). Hosted by Randy and Jason Sklar, identical twin comedians, this is kind of an MST3K for bad sports shows. The two of them watch old, weird, niche programming from ESPN's vast tape library, like Putt-Putt Tournaments, or Spelling Bees, or the Lumberjack Games, and intersperse it with jokes and skits (featuring such guests as Kerri Kenney, H. Jon Benjamin, or Ed Helms) mocking the action. Very funny, if you can find it.

Best Mini-Series
And indeed, the only mini-series I watched this year: Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars. A tremendous wrap-up to one of the best science fiction programs ever. I'm still hoping the ratings for this event will justify bringing John Crichton, Aeryn Sun, Scorpius, and the rest of the cast back for one more go-around, but I'm not holding my breath. (I'm not counting The 4400 as a mini-series, because, as USA insisted on telling me 17,000 times an hour: it was a "limited" series, not a mini-series. And unprecedented, did they mention unprecedented?? Also, I wound up not liking it all that much.)

Best Show I Never Watch
It's a tie! I really enjoyed the first episode of House, especially star Hugh Laurie's riveting turn as the cantankerous genius doctor (and of course there's Lisa Edelstein, whom I always love), but I've been unable to catch it ever since; it airs opposite Scrubs and Veronica Mars. TiVo can only do so much, Fox! Tonight, Fox is wisely airing two repeats to try to reach a wider audience -- hey, that's me! There's not nearly as much good TV on Mondays, so I'll be able to catch both episodes. I hope Fox will consider making this change permanent. The other show is That '70s Show, which I think is hilarious, but it's on versus Lost and Smallville. At least I can catch it in reruns.

Best Show I Just Kind Of Don't Feel Like Watching
Kevin Hill. I've enjoyed every episode I've watched, but for some reason I tend to let it sit unwatched on my TiVo until it's about to be deleted, and only then do I bother to check it out. And I always like it... but I always let the next episode sit unwatched again. I think I may actually have reached the previously-believed-to-be-boundless limits of my TV-watching capabilities with this show!

Biggest Disappointments
It's a three-way tie! Monk, The Amazing Race, and Joan of Arcadia. I've previously written about my problems with this year's seasons of Monk and TAR, so I'll concentrate on Joan. The problem there is the lack of joy, or fun, or silliness. Everything's gotten so dark and depressing. Joan's best friend dies, the Girardis are being sued by the family of the boy who crippled their son, Grace's mother is an alcoholic, and on and on and on. Didn't this show used to be fun last year? What happened? There are still some light moments, but they're much less frequent, and much clumsier, than last season (and they usually involve Constance Zimmer as ex-nun Lilly; she's a real kick). If I were Joan, I'd trade in her god for a new model. This one's a bummer.

Guiltiest Pleasure
Two and a Half Men. I watched one episode at a friend's house, and was surprised to find it wasn't as awful as I'd always assumed it would be. In fact, it's really very funny. I'm completely hooked on it. I know! What's wrong with me?? I think it's surpassed Everybody Loves Raymond as my 4th favorite sitcom (after the two in my top ten list, and Less Than Perfect, which probably should also be a guilty pleasure, but I can't find it in me to be ashamed of liking a show featuring Patrick Warburton).

Just Kind of There
Smallville has had its moments this year, including a surprisingly good episode in which Clark and Lionel Luthor switched bodies, but the new characters aren't working for me (the Lois Lane actress -- whom I've previously sworn never to name again -- grew on me a little, but she's still more irritating than charming, and Jason is just a warmed-over Whitney), and that whole deal with Lana's tattoo is really lame. Also: The Simpsons. This is really on cruise control. It's generally reliably funny, but the characters don't engage me the way they used to; they've drifted too far from any kind of grounding reality to be really affecting anymore. The show has become primarily sight gags and movie parodies and physical comedy, not the character-based humor that made the show so great. I've been surprised to find this season that if I miss an episode, I'm not that concerned.

Whatever Happened to Must See Thursday?
I'm still watching Joey, although as God is my witness, I couldn't tell you why. And Will & Grace still has its moments. But if I see it, that's fine, and if I don't, that's fine, too. The Apprentice I avoid like the plague, and I think ER was actually cancelled four years ago, but like the undead creature it is, it keeps shambling grotesquely forth.

You Had Me, And Then You Lost Me
Rescue Me and Jack & Bobby. These shows drew me in with their promising debuts, then repelled me with their despicable lead characters. Denis Leary's Tommy on Rescue Me is a lying, cheating, reprehensible thug, who possesses none of the charm of Leary's previous flawed public servant, cop Mike from The Job. And Christine Lahti, who plays the mother on Jack & Bobby is such a shrill, stupid, horrible woman, I couldn't stand watching her beyond the first three episodes. I would include Boston Legal in this category, but I knew before it aired that I would like it at first, then quickly lose interest, same as with any David E. Kelley show.

You Had Me, And Then You Lost Me, And Then You Had Me Again
Both Star Trek: Enterprise and Gilmore Girls have bounced back after their less than wonderful previous seasons. Enterprise's return to self-contained stories rather than last season's year-long Xindi hunt is most welcome; even the three-parter with Brent Spiner felt blessedly brief and to the point. And I have to admit, I'm kind of digging the whole Trip & T'Pol soap opera. But everyone else is such a drag. Maybe the other characters need to get laid, too, to develop some personalities. And Gilmore Girls has succeeded in bringing Luke and Lorelai together as a couple, while not skimping on stories for other characters; I especially enjoyed Jackson's run for, and election as, mayor (or town elder or whatever he's called) of Stars Hollow. The writers need to be careful with Rory, though; she's becoming as self-absorbed and callous as her mother has been prone to be in previous years. (Or, as I described her in an earlier draft: she's kind of becoming a dumb bitch. Am I wrong?)

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And what about you? Did I leave off something you love? Do I love something you hate? Are you disappointed I didn't dump on Sex and the City one last time? Jump in on this one, TV fans.

TV: Rescue Me

I caught the commercial-free premiere of the Denis Leary comedy/drama Rescue Me on FX on Wednesday, and... I may have built it up a little too much in my head. It was very good, don't get me wrong, but I think I was expecting to be blown away on the level of The Shield's premiere, which is a near impossible standard to meet.

It opened with a great establishing scene, Denis Leary's Full Metal Jacket/Patton-esque speech to a group of NYFD cadets, with Leary setting the overall mood for the episode: a lot of tough talk masking a lot of pain just beneath the surface. We witness the pain almost immediately after Leary leaves the cadets: he gets a visit from his cousin, a firefighter who died at Ground Zero. "You know what they found of him?" he's just gotten through telling the cadets. "A finger. That's all. A finger." His cousin's appearance only externalizes Leary's haunted soul -- and it's well-played. It could've come off as very cheesy, but Leary's cousin -- and other "visitors" -- keep things interesting with the same rough humor and tough-talking bravado of the living firefighters. (In a later appearance, the cousin tries to pop open a beer can. "Dammit," he says, struggling with the task, "it had to be my beer-opening finger.")

Of the tough talk, we get a plethora throughout the show; the cursing pushes FX's already liberal standards, with plenty of racial epithets (wop, jewbag) and homophobic slurs thrown in to boot. The show doesn't shy away from portraying these firefighters in a less than flattering light; they don't take kindly to outsiders, or any variation from their narrow definition of acceptable behavior or appearance. A telling exchange comes late in the episode between Leary and a therapist sent to the fire station to offer counseling to those still reeling from Sept. 11. When she questions him on the lack of female firefighters in the station, he says he'd be fine with one on his team as long as she could do the job. But then he adds:

"You got a Martian, or a cyborg, or a Chinaman that can do the job, bring them on, too."
"Are there any Chinese firefighters?"
"Yeah, probably. Somewhere in... China."

That he would equate a "Chinaman" with inhuman creatures is no slip of the tongue. It's obvious anyone deviating from the norm is going to find some very rough going in this club. It's a bold and probably all-too-truthful way to present the NYFD. I'm assuming this is establishing a baseline mindset which will evolve as the series progresses -- but by small increments at best.

Leary's character is a heavy drinker and is getting divorced -- which isn't a far cry from his character in his previous series, The Job (which was cancelled way too soon), in which he played a pill-popping, philandering cop. The role isn't a stretch for him, and Leary doesn't have the acting skills to stretch much beyond the niche he's built for himself (he co-created both series), but that's fine, because it's an admirable niche. He takes public servants, for which he clearly has a great deal of respect (as evidenced by his charitable contributions), and humanizes them, shows them not only as heroes (a label they wouldn't want to apply to themselves, anyway), but as real and flawed human beings. And he does it with a great deal of dark, even mean, humor. (In Rescue Me, Leary terrifies his fellow firefighters by throwing a child-sized doll from a burning window.)

Where the show didn't hold up for me was in the actual firefighting. It's tough to stage a realistic fire on film, and I think they err on the side of caution here; the one fire the station responds to doesn't convey any of the excitement or danger we've been led to expect. It looks like what it is, a few small flames staged around the actors.

And the rest of the cast, with the exception of Leary's wife (played by Andrea Roth, whom I remember from last year's excellent comedy series Lucky -- which I'm still mad at FX for cancelling), are fairly indistinguishable so far, ranging from the gruff ladykiller to the gruff chief to the gruff... other guy who's gruff.

But these are small complaints. I enjoyed the first episode a lot, and I only expect the series to get better. It's a great addition to the FX library, which is rivalling HBO in great original series on a non-broadcast network. The big networks better watch their asses; by playing it too safe, they're giving viewers like me less and less reason to visit the single-digit channels at all.

POTPOURRI

TV: What The Amazing Race is lacking in teams to root for this year, it's more than making up for in teams to hate, which is just as fun. Charla and Mirna are on the top of my list: little person Charla for constantly insisting how strong and independent she is, then manipulating others into feeling sorry for her and helping her, and complaining when they don't, and Mirna for being such a bloody victim, such a martyr. Everything that goes wrong happens because other people are out to get her, because something is being done to her, as opposed to simply resulting from her own weakness and incompetence. "Now we're lost, because we trusted somebody," she said in last night's episode. No, you're lost because you were driving the lead car and you were stupid enough to miss the turn. How is that the fault of the car following you, whose driver did make the right turn? Answer: it's NOT! Ya freak.

Also, I'm sick to death of Mirna yelling at her cousin, "Come on Charla, this is a race, Charla, hurry up, Charla!" She is hurrying! Her legs are half the length of yours, you dumbass!

Then there's Chip and Kim. Chip started out seeming like such a sweetheart, but turned into a snake in the second episode. He sabotaged Kami and Karli by jumping into their cab and refusing to get out until another cab arrived for his team. And now he's got the nerve to trash talk about them, as though they were at fault. What a jackass.

And the pizza brothers, Marshall and Lance: at first look, I hoped they would be like the first season's Kevin and Drew, wise-cracking fun-lovers. Instead, they make offensive remarks about women drivers and the native people: "Useless foreigners!" Check your passport, chump: you're the foreigner, and your inability to communicate with the locals doesn't make them useless.

I just hate so many of these people. Which means the Amazing Race's casting directors have done their job again! Way to go!

COMICS: All the foofaraw over Identity Crisis has almost made me want to pick it up. Almost. Because just when I think it sounds interesting or controversial enough for me to check out, I remember, Oh yeah, I couldn't care less about the Elongated Man. Killing off his wife is like killing off Dr. Marvin Monroe on The Simpsons: nobody cared about him, nobody missed him, and after enough time had passed, he came back from the dead anyway. (Or as was said of Monty Burns: "His condition was upgraded to 'alive'.")

BOOKS: I actually will have a proper Books post to make later tonight, but it might be fairly late, since tonight is trivia night at the local sports bar. And I can't miss that. One minute before midnight is still keeping to the schedule!

TV AGAIN: Don't forget to tune into Denis Leary's firefighter comedy/drama Rescue Me on FX tonight. Even if you're not otherwise inclined to watch a Denis Leary show, just think of FX's record with original programming so far: The Shield, Nip/Tuck, and, in my opinion, the best new show of 2003 (though sadly prematurely cancelled), Lucky. I think that puts the chances for Rescue Me being a keeper pretty high, don't you?

MUSIC: There's one more kid that'll never go to school, never get to fall in love, never get to be cool

Occasionally, a piece of familiar music takes on entirely new significance due to the way it is used in a film or TV show. Quentin Tarantino is a master of this kind of recontextualizing (if I may use a $10 word) of music, the prime example probably being the innocuous lite FM hit "Stuck in the Middle with You" playing during the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs. Here are a couple of other examples in my life:

An obvious and corny one is Foo Fighters' "Next Year," which was used as the theme song on the TV show Ed. It was more a coincidence of timing than anything else which changed my perception of that song -- just as the title character returns to his hometown after a long absence, so did I return to my hometown around the time of the show's debut. I didn't buy a bowling alley or anything, but still, it was hard to listen to the line, "I'll be coming home next year," and not feel that the song was speaking to me in a new and personal way.

Blind Faith's "Can't Find My Way Home" (which I've mentioned before) was always a sweet and enjoyable tune to me. Steve Winwood's soulful voice over Eric Clapton's haunting acoustic guitar... good stuff. In college, it became a personal favorite, especially after one inebriated evening when a friend and I decided to do some exploration of the Berkeley Hills and literally couldn't find our way home. I kept wondering how long it would take the search crews to recover our rotting corpses, and thinking of that line from the chorus, "I'm wasted and I can't find my way home."

Then I watched the movie Fandango, and the song took on a new meaning for me. The film ends with the loss and heartbreak that come with growing up: A close knit group of college friends, at the conclusion of their last adventure together after graduation, have all gone their separate ways, probably never to see each other again. And Kevin Costner, still pining for the love of his life, has just swallowed his emotions and served as the best man in her wedding to his best friend. After everyone has gone, and he stands alone in the dark on a desert hill, the credits roll, and "Can't Find My Way Home" plays. And now, I can't hear that song without experiencing similar feelings of isolation and heartache. All because of a movie.

A song which became much more enjoyable to me after its onscreen use is Kid Rock's "Bawitaba." No, I'm not kidding. And if you've ever seen the first episode of The Shield, you know what I'm talking about. (If you haven't, go rent the DVD. Now.) I liked the song just fine to begin with, but it becomes a brutal, powerful anthem when coupled with The Shield's compelling anti-hero, Vic Mackey. In the pilot episode, we've seen that Mackey and his cadre of corrupt cops have drawn the suspicions of precinct Captain Aceveda, who arranges for a new cop, an informant, to join Mackey's crew. The crew's big assignment is to take down a major drug dealer. In the final four minutes of the episode, Mackey's crew carries out their raid on the dealer's house in near silence -- with "Bawitaba" blaring on the soundtrack. Mackey guns down the drug dealer, and then -- in the very last seconds of the song, and of the episode, Mackey pulls the gun from the drug dealer's dead hand and shoots the informant cop right between the eyes. Said up jump the boogie.

God damn if that wasn't the most shocking, powerful moment in all of television that year. And ever since watching it, I can't help but invest "Bawitaba" with equal power.

And earlier today, I finally watched Fahrenheit 9/11, which closes with Neil Young's soaring, scathing indictment of the first Bush's presidency, "Rockin' in the Free World." Didn't take much to repurpose it for Bush, the sequel:

There's a warning sign on the road ahead
There's a lot of people saying we'd be better off dead
Don't feel like Satan but I am to them
So I try to forget it any way I can
Keep on rockin' in the free world

I instantly knew I would never hear that song the same way again. Nor, I think, will anyone who sees that film.

TV: Emmy Nominations

A few of my takes on the 2004 Emmy nominations:

--Biggest oversight is Michael Chiklis for The Shield. I think it's the best show on television, and he's the best thing about it. I mean, how unfair is it that he gets dropped from last year's list, but Kiefer Sutherland remains? This is just an example of how, when something finally breaks into the awareness of the Emmy voters, it takes a miracle to dislodge it -- apparently, none of them realized 24 became a parody of itself this year (as if it weren't already one last year), just as none of them are willing to admit The West Wing's best days are way behind it now. But The Shield, despite Chiklis's surprising Emmy win in its first season, has never fully penetrated the Emmy voters' groupthink, probably because it's on a non-broadcast network that isn't HBO.

--Also, I'm grateful to see Arrested Development got the attention it deserved, but disappointed that Scrubs continues to be slighted (despite best editing and best writing noms this year). No John C. McGinley as supporting actor? That's just wrong.

--Sex and the City's popularity continues to baffle me, but at least this is the last year it can hog all those nominations. And good riddance to it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: HBO actually managed to create a show so bad that no amount of gratuitous nudity could make me watch it. And don't tell me it's because it's meant for women, and I just don't understand it. I understand a piece of crap when I see it. All those women read Bridges of Madison County, too -- doesn't mean it wasn't still a big steaming pile of horse crap.

--Matt LeBlanc: enjoy your acting nomination. It'll be your last.

--Joan of Arcadia's entry in the best drama category is a bit of a surprise, but maybe it shouldn't be. Emmy voters love that God fella! And Amber Tamblyn's nomination for best actress is amazing (but well-deserved), considering her -- and the show's -- youth.

--On the other hand -- Mariska Hargitay, for Law & Order: One of Those Damn Spin-Offs? Really? Are there that few deserving actresses working in TV these days?

--I wish I still had HBO. Sounds like I'm missing a lot of good stuff. I hope Deadwood comes out on DVD soon.

--Emmy voters, you've given an award to all four Will & Grace actors. You can stop nominating them now. Actually, you should've stopped before Debra Messing won. What was that all about??

--Even sadder than a nomination coming after a show's cancellation -- as with Bonnie Hunt (whom I love), or Futurama -- is a nomination coming after an actor's cancellation. Which is my morbid way of saying, I loved John Ritter and all, but giving him an Emmy nomination he didn't deserve isn't going to make anyone feel any better.

--I find a bitter kind of satisfaction in the fact that after all the hoopla over their respective finales, neither Friends nor Frasier were nominated as best comedy. If only I could say the same about that damn Sex and the City.