TV: Various premieres

Smallville: I don't care for the Lois Lane character. I don't find the actress attractive at all -- which I may be alone on, judging from my recent search engine traffic, which I presume has been generated by my one mention of her name in this post. (I refuse to mention her name again, because, while I still find the search engine hits for "Misty May's ass" amusing -- by the way: Misty May's ass -- I'm not quite as pleased by all the "[actress' name]+topless+nude+naked+tits" hits I've been getting.) And the character is 100% unlikeable. I know, Lois Lane is traditionally brash and aggressive and so forth. But actresses such as Margot Kidder or Teri Hatcher have made those traits disarming and endearing. This actress just comes off as a royal bitch. I can't believe Ma Kent didn't smack the living hell out of her when she burst into her house like that.

Margot Kidder's appearance was fun, but what was with all the WB promos touting her "surprise" cameo? No, you just frickin' told us she would be on the show. That's not a surprise, dumbasses. And is black kryptonite a comic book thing, or is that a Smallville original?

Also, Lana's new boyfriend is a tool.

I enjoyed the hell out of seeing Clark fly, and that take-off was stunning. But this show greatly exceeded my daily allowance of Tom Welling's ass (which, for future reference, is 0%). (Man, I dread the search engine hits that sentence is gonna generate.) If you want to keep putting Lana in the shower, on the other hand, I'm okay with that.

So, Allison Mack and Sam Jones are out of the opening credits. Interesting. It looks like they've left the door open for Chloe to return, but Pete -- not so much. Did anyone even mention his name this episode? And why does Clark insist on being such a doofus about concealing his powers? He uses his X-ray vision on Chloe's coffin, sees it's empty, and instantly tells Lois, "Chloe's still alive." Way to play it cool, there, Clark.

A little too much business to deal with in this episode. Hopefully, now that everything's settled down, the next will be better.

Veronica Mars: The number of shows on UPN I have ever enjoyed has just doubled. (From one -- Enterprise -- to two. And I'm not counting Buffy; the WB developed it, they get the credit.) I really enjoyed this show. The lead actress is very appealing, and her character is smart, brave, and funny. I got a kick out of seeing two TV stand-bys as her parents: Enrico Colantoni (of Just Shoot Me), and Corinne Bohrer (whom I've had a crush on since she was on E/R -- no, not the one currently on the air, but the 80s sitcom starring Elliott Gould and, unbelievably, George Clooney).

The show was created by Rob Thomas, who also created one of my favorite cancelled-too-soon shows of all time, Cupid (which I've written about before). The look of the pilot is a little disappointing; I have to assume it was shot on the cheap, considering it's on UPN, and it shows. But the acting and the writing are more than entertaining enough to make up for that.

I got a little put off by how much misery is dumped on Veronica's head in this one episode. We learn: her best friend was murdered; her father, the Sheriff, botched the investigation and was fired, leading to their dreary financial situation; the man her father accused of the murder was her best friend's father, which led to both her boyfriend (her best friend's brother) dumping her, and her total ostracization by all her former friends; her mother, an alcoholic, ran out on her, and may even be having an affair with the best friend's father; and, to top it all off, at a party she was drugged and raped. It was at that point I said, "Oh, come on!" What else can be done to her? Will she develop a brain tumor? Will her dog get rabies? Will a piano fall from the sky and land on her? Geez, enough already.

But an awful lot of future plotlines were established here, and I think this show could be a real winner. Except for the fact that it's on UPN, which probably means eight episodes and out.

Lost: I loved it. But I'm holding off on talking about it here, because I've already written a column about it for Forces of Good, which will be going live a week from today. Don't forget to check it out!

So all I have to say is: seriously, do not miss this show. It's fantastic.