Links update

Added a few new links to the sidebar:

Infinity Weblog joins the Mighty ACAPCWOVCCAOE!

Dorian pointed me toward Beaucoup Kevin and Fortress of Blogitude, which will either be wonderful additions, or I will hate Dorian forever. I'm a patient and tolerant person.

Pete of I Shoot With My Mind (great Gunslinger reference! Which reminds me, I need to finish that damned final book) and Lyle of Crocodile Caucus (who could not be more wrong about Sex and the City [insert smiley face here]) have recently left interesting comments. As probably many others have, yet I'm too lazy and dopey to single them out. If you're deserving and I've overlooked you, I'll find you eventually. I'm slow but steady, like continental drift. You could always remind me, by leaving a comment again!

He's just not that into you!

So I was watching Oprah last night, 'cause that's what you do when you come home drunk at 1 AM. And her guest was Greg Behrendt, who is a hilarious stand-up comedian -- or used to be, I guess. Then he started writing for Sex and the City, and now he's written a self-help book based around a line from that show: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys.

Okay, first of all, I thought it was odd that Greg was the only one onstage with Oprah, since the book was co-written with a woman named Liz Tuccillo. Liz was actually in the audience, and Oprah briefly spoke to her, but primarily she was dealing with Greg. I guess she wanted to have just the guy by her side, so he could be the one dealing out the tough love. After all, she worships tough-love men. Remember, she's the one responsible for inflicting Dr. Phil on America. That son of a bitch Dr. Phil! Oh how I hate him.

But I digress.

Oh, and second: why are we not done with Sex and the City now?? The goddam show is cancelled already! There's a book based on a line from it, Oprah's talking about the book and showing clips from the show, and there's that horrible harpy Sarah Jessica Parker in all those freaking Gap ads. That show's another one to file under my list of things I don't get. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: with Sex and the City, HBO was somehow able to create a show so bad that no amount of gratuitous nudity could make me watch. That's pretty damn bad.

Anyway.

The Oprah show primarily consisted of various audience members telling their stories of woe: my boyfriend is great but. I like this guy but. And then Oprah would smugly crow, "He's just not that into you!!"

Here's what I was waiting for -- and this would've been so ingenious, I can't believe Greg or one of the audience members didn't say this, it would've been so frickin' great -- and I didn't catch the last 15 minutes, so maybe it did happen, but I seriously doubt it -- I wanted someone to say:

So, Oprah, has Stedman married you yet? No? Well, guess what, honey!

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!

MOVIES: Hey, the dialogue is still better than Titanic

Classic cinema fans rejoice: Tuesday sees the eagerly-anticipated release of the special-edition DVD of:



The only thing that could make this better would be if the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 reunited for the commentary track. Although I find it hard to believe even they could make this movie any funnier.

Highlights from the story about the DVD release:

Among DVD extras are a tutorial on how to give a lap dance and audio commentary titled "The Greatest Movie Ever Made."

"It seems like this great lost Pinter scene where subtext is everything, until you realize that there absolutely is no subtext. They're just talking about eating dog food."

And my favorite line (italics mine):

Berkley took the worst of it for her garish masquerade as a stripper turned Vegas showgirl, but the movie also was a career low for co-stars Kyle MacLachlan and Gina Gershon. The actors declined interviews for this story.

No! They declined interviews about the most wretched, humiliating experience in their careers, and quite possibly their lives? Shocker.

Where the hell is Kyle MacLachlan, anyway? Gina Gershon survived relatively unscathed, and even Elizabeth Berkley still gets parts in high-profile films, bless her naughty little heart -- but man, poor Kyle. Before Showgirls, he absolutely was on the upswing of stardom, well on his way, I think, to becoming a genuine box office draw. Now, can you even remember the last film he was in that debuted on more than a dozen screens, if not directly on cable? Sad.

(And no, I'm not counting his role on Sex and the City because 1) it's not the movies, and 2) I hate that damn show.)

But at least Showgirls also destroyed Joe Eszterhas's career, which was a boon to mankind.

TV: Emmy Nominations

A few of my takes on the 2004 Emmy nominations:

--Biggest oversight is Michael Chiklis for The Shield. I think it's the best show on television, and he's the best thing about it. I mean, how unfair is it that he gets dropped from last year's list, but Kiefer Sutherland remains? This is just an example of how, when something finally breaks into the awareness of the Emmy voters, it takes a miracle to dislodge it -- apparently, none of them realized 24 became a parody of itself this year (as if it weren't already one last year), just as none of them are willing to admit The West Wing's best days are way behind it now. But The Shield, despite Chiklis's surprising Emmy win in its first season, has never fully penetrated the Emmy voters' groupthink, probably because it's on a non-broadcast network that isn't HBO.

--Also, I'm grateful to see Arrested Development got the attention it deserved, but disappointed that Scrubs continues to be slighted (despite best editing and best writing noms this year). No John C. McGinley as supporting actor? That's just wrong.

--Sex and the City's popularity continues to baffle me, but at least this is the last year it can hog all those nominations. And good riddance to it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: HBO actually managed to create a show so bad that no amount of gratuitous nudity could make me watch it. And don't tell me it's because it's meant for women, and I just don't understand it. I understand a piece of crap when I see it. All those women read Bridges of Madison County, too -- doesn't mean it wasn't still a big steaming pile of horse crap.

--Matt LeBlanc: enjoy your acting nomination. It'll be your last.

--Joan of Arcadia's entry in the best drama category is a bit of a surprise, but maybe it shouldn't be. Emmy voters love that God fella! And Amber Tamblyn's nomination for best actress is amazing (but well-deserved), considering her -- and the show's -- youth.

--On the other hand -- Mariska Hargitay, for Law & Order: One of Those Damn Spin-Offs? Really? Are there that few deserving actresses working in TV these days?

--I wish I still had HBO. Sounds like I'm missing a lot of good stuff. I hope Deadwood comes out on DVD soon.

--Emmy voters, you've given an award to all four Will & Grace actors. You can stop nominating them now. Actually, you should've stopped before Debra Messing won. What was that all about??

--Even sadder than a nomination coming after a show's cancellation -- as with Bonnie Hunt (whom I love), or Futurama -- is a nomination coming after an actor's cancellation. Which is my morbid way of saying, I loved John Ritter and all, but giving him an Emmy nomination he didn't deserve isn't going to make anyone feel any better.

--I find a bitter kind of satisfaction in the fact that after all the hoopla over their respective finales, neither Friends nor Frasier were nominated as best comedy. If only I could say the same about that damn Sex and the City.