Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The movie of my life will be called SLAYFEST, and it will feature zombies.

I got nothin' else, so I'll do this music meme that's been going around.

If your life were a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5 . When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening credits: Monster Magnet, "Space Lord." Okay! I like it. Starts things out with a brutal, metal kick to the face. It's one of those songs that starts out low and laid back, then suddenly kicks into outrageous overdrive. This song recently appeared on an actual soundtrack: it was in one of the race scenes from Talladega Nights. That's how I picture it being used in the "movie" of my life: I'm performing some mundane tasks as the beginning plays -- getting ready for work, pouring some coffee in the travel mug, warming up the car... then I hit the gas and go rocketing off a jump as the heavy guitars kick in. Space Lord, Motherfucker!

Waking up: The Refreshments, "Fonder and Blonder." This is another excellent song. This could fit the scene I described above as well, only in a more melancholy kind of film. It would start the same, with me getting up, getting ready for work, getting in the car. But instead of hitting a ramp and jumping over some police cars, I'd get a flat tire and get mud splattered on me as I try to put on the spare. "Cars break down/And people break down/And other things break down too."

First day of school: Coldplay, "Don't Panic." I don't really know this song (and I'm not really listening to it now). I copied a couple of Coldplay albums from my brother-in-law over Christmas, but haven't really listened to them. But I think the title is very appropriate to the first day of school -- young boy, maybe a little frightened and confused, his mother letting him out of the car at this weird, scary new place, and mother tells him, "Don't panic." I like it.

Falling in love: Dropkick Murphys, "The Green Fields of France (No Man's Land)." Well, this doesn't fit at all. Of all the great, rocking, upbeat Murphys songs, why this one? This is about visiting the grave of a soldier killed in World War I. (Sample lyric: "Well I hope you died quick, and I hope you died clean/Or Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?") Not exactly a "falling in love" tune. How to spin this? Maybe I meet the granddaughter (great-granddaughter? I can't be bothered to do the math right now) of the soldier, and we begin a love affair. Or maybe I'm a necrophiliac. Could go either way. (It's an awesome song, by the way; just doesn't work here.)

First love song: Dance Hall Crashers, "Go." The exhilarating, joyous ska of DHC is the kind of music that seems like it should be perfect for "First love," but the song's really more about a guy who abandons the adventure of love to cling instead to the old and familiar. Chorus: "Wanna go with you, but I think I'll stay." Also: "First love"? Didn't we just have "Falling in love"? Are they two different things? Or is "First love" code for "First gettin' it on"?

Breaking up: Petra Haden, "Armenia City in the Sky." These choices keep getting weirder. This is a cover of the Who song, from the great The Who Sells Out album; in an amazing feat of musicianship and perhaps foolhardiness, Petra Haden actually covered the entire album -- a capella. She even re-recorded the instrument tracks with just her voice, including the fuzzy, distorted guitars of the original version of this song. Possible lyrical relevance to the "Breaking up" theme: "If you ever want to disappear/Just take off and think of this." That's about it, though.

Prom: Faith No More, "Easy." Back on track with a song that couldn't be more perfectly suited to the theme, "Prom." Unless it were the original version of the song, by the Commodores -- that's even more apropos, in re: prom cheesiness. Would've worked better for the "Breaking up" theme above -- "Girl I'm leaving you tomorrow." Maybe I'm one song out-of-sync on my soundtrack!

Mental Breakdown: Warren Zevon, "The French Inhaler." Well. I don't know about this one. Apparently, there's a possibility that this song is about Marilyn Monroe, which might work for "Mental Breakdown." But that's just speculation. The song does have a bit of sadness and despair to it, so at least musically it's not totally wrong.

Driving: Jim Gaffigan, "Hoooot Pocket!" I was going to skip any non-music tracks if they came up, but I like this one for "Driving." This is one of the funniest comedy routines I've heard in my entire life. Ian, who introduced me to the genius of this Gaffigan album, almost drove off the road listening to it in his car because he was laughing so hard. I almost did the same thing. And then so did my friend Forrest when I introduced it to him. If that's not a good "Driving" track, I don't know what is.

Flashback: Joni Mitchell, "My Old Man." This is all about a sweet hippie chick digging on her hippie man. It's a good "Flashback" track -- but it ain't my flashback.

Getting back together: They Might Be Giants, "Everything Right Is Wrong Again." I definitely like this one here, suggesting that getting back together is the wrong thing to do. Plus any song that's got a shout-out to a Lucille Ball movie is all right by me.

Wedding: Green Day, "Wake Me Up When September Ends." I don't know that there are any Green Day songs that are really great for a wedding, but this one is especially incorrect. It's all wrong, tonally -- mournful, funereal. It's about the death of the singer's father, after all. And has since been used in tribute to the victims of both Hurricane Katrina and 9/11. Not exactly the Macarena!

Birth of Child: Johnny Cash, "Dirty Old Egg-Suckin' Dog." This one just cracks me up. "Dirty old egg-suckin' dog/I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground." Yep, reminds me of childbirth.

Final Battle: Tom Petty, "Free Fallin'." It couldn't have been "I Won't Back Down" for "Final Battle"? Oh well. Maybe this is where the zombies come in. There's already vampires (moving West down Ventura Blvd.)

Death Scene: Jane's Addiction, "Up the Beach." This works pretty well. The intro, with the chilling, cutting guitars, could be me falling in that final battle above (in slo-mo, of course), capped off with the eerie (and only) lyrics: "Here we go again/Home..."

Funeral song: The Rolling Stones, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." Right on! Funerals should be a celebration of life, and there are very few rock songs that are as invigorating and as full of life as this one, right from that legendary opening riff. Also, lyrically accurate: I won't get much satisfaction, being dead and all.

End Credits: AC/DC, "School Days." A cover of the Chuck Berry classic. A rousing ending to the movie of my life, and to any soundtrack (though the original Berry recording would be better). Hail! Hail! Rock and roll!

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