TRAILER TRASH

It's been a full week since I went to the theater and saw trailers before two different movies. Now I'm having a hard time remembering what they were. Here's a look at the ones I do recall.

Saw: I'm sure I'll regret it, judging by the bad reviews it's been getting, but I actually want to see this. Looks like it's a pretty clever premise: a serial killer who never actually kills his victims; he sets up elaborate traps which can be escaped, but usually result in the victim somehow killing himself.

Sideways: This is the next film coming up that I'm truly eager to see. Paul Giamatti is one of my favorite actors, and he got absolutely robbed of a Best Actor Oscar nomination last year for American Splendor. (Sean Penn even went so far as to mention him during his acceptance speech.) This new film is already generating new Oscar buzz, not just for him, but for co-star Thomas Haden Church as well (Lowell is getting Oscar buzz??). Written and directed by Alexander Payne, who did Election and About Schmidt, this one is going to be great.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou: A slamdunk. Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, and Wes Anderson, together again. Do I even have to tell you more than that? Sold!

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: Jim Carrey as Count Olaf. Sold! It looks spectacular, although I fear the special effects may overwhelm the biting humor of the books. It looks like more than one of the books has been used for the movie, which is interesting. Also starring Meryl Streep, and Jude Law as Lemony Snicket. Did I already say "Sold"?

White Noise: Not to be confused with 2005's White Noise, based on the Don DeLillo novel, which actually could be good. This White Noise features Michael Keaton in a horror story about ghosts communicating with the living via home audio equipment. No sale! The trailer claims this crap really happens all the time. No, really! For reals! Listen to this voice! It's a ghost! Scared yet? It's real!! Keaton needs a new agent.

Coach Carter Samuel L. Jackson plays a tough instructor at a tough urban school. I was going to say, "I liked it better the first time he made this movie, when it was called Lean On Me," but, uh... that was Morgan Freeman. My bad. This one does look like the same movie, though, only Jackson plays a basketball coach who breaks all the rules and inspires his charges into being better people via discipline and tough love, as opposed to a principal who breaks etc. etc. Yawn. (Strange sidenote: while searching IMDb for the phrase "Lean On Me", two of the possible matches suggested were for this extremely nasty-sounding film and this even nastier one. Both of them do have the words "on" and "me" in their titles, I admit, but aren't quite what I was looking for, IMDb.)

Hide and Seek: Empire Magazine just named Robert DeNiro the best actor over 50 in the world. And I started thinking, has DeNiro made a great movie since he turned 50 in 1993, let alone more than one or two movies that didn't totally and completely suck? I guess it depends on if you think Casino or Heat were truly great, because other than that, there's an awful lot of suck. The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle? The Fan? Showtime? Godsend? Analyze That?? Okay, there's some good stuff in there, I'll admit, like Ronin (well, I liked it, anyway), Sleepers, Wag the Dog, and yes, even Analyze This and Meet the Parents. But DeNiro more properly belongs at the top of the list of actors who have squandered their talent in garbage after turning 50. My point? Add Hide and Seek to the suck pile.