The Zombie Uprising

Well, I see from Zombie Tom, the Zombie Uprising has begun. Hell, it might as well. There's nothing good on TV anyway.

You're not going to believe it, but I swear to you, I was already reading The Zombie Survival Guide before the Uprising began. I'm totally serious. Just saw it in the store last week and picked it up. Lucky for me! I'm on page 124. I hope that's far enough for me to get through this thing with my brains intact.

Okay, I'm on the second floor. I've got a bathtub full of drinking water (a handy tip from the book: if this turns into a long-term siege kind of thing, you're going to want all the drinking water you can get in case the pipes are destroyed), all the food in the house, a camping stove, a first aid kit, and a crowbar, an axe, and a carving knife for weapons. Also, I've destroyed the staircase (zombies can't climb). Oh, and earlier, I killed my next-door neighbor. He was making moaning noises like a zombie, so I figured, better safe than sorry.

Now that I think about it, those might have been wheezing noises. Larry always did have bad asthma. Man, if this turns out to be some kind of internet hoax, I am going to be pissed.