TV: I need an intervention

Seriously, this is a little much even for me. I'm just overwhelmed with TV right now. Above and beyond my Tuesday night dilemma, there's just a ridiculous amount of new television I want to see. By the way, regarding that dilemma, my ultimate choice was to watch Scrubs, then switch over to the last 90 minutes of The Amazing Race. And MAN! What a great 90 minutes. From Gretchen splitting her freakin' head open, but still plowing ahead with the race (as opposed to that snotty, whiny Patrick who couldn't quit soon enough last week), to Brian and Greg rolling their vehicle and nearly killing their cameraman, to the final dash to the finish line, by car and by foot, in which the long-delayed-by-their-wreck Brian & Greg caught up to and passed Deana and her tremendous asshat of a partner, Ray, who were eliminated. Whoo! That's good TV. Also, the return of Veronica Mars was pretty kick-ass, too.

Above and beyond that, there's a bunch of new TV cramming my TiVo. Ian has gotten me hooked on Wonder Showzen on MTV2, a terrifically weird and disturbing comedy show disguised as a children's program. To give you only the slightest idea of what this show is like, here's the disclaimer it runs beforehand:

WONDER SHOWZEN CONTAINS OFFENSIVE, DESPICABLE CONTENT THAT IS TOO CONTROVERSIAL AND TOO AWESOME FOR ACTUAL CHILDREN. THE STARK, UGLY, PROFOUND TRUTHS WONDER SHOWZEN EXPOSES MAY BE SOUL CRUSHING TO THE WEAK OF SPIRIT. IF YOU ALLOW A CHILD TO WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU ARE A BAD PARENT OR GUARDIAN.

And here's something Ian may be interested in in return: tonight on HBO is the debut of Left of the Dial, a documentary about the rocky first months of liberal radio station Air America, which celebrates its first anniversary today.

Then there's USA's new Kojak, starring Ving Rhames. I have a feeling this is not going to make my must-see list, but I at least want to check out the two-hour premiere. There's Cartoon Network's Robot Chicken, which I keep missing, and need to get caught up on. Speaking of getting caught up on -- HBO is finally going to run a marathon of Carnivale Season 2 next week; I missed the first few episodes, so I've been holding off on watching any of the others, wanting to see them all in proper order. That's a 12-hour chunk of my time right there.

But wait! There's more! Coming soon on FX are two new dramas: Over There, about the war in Iraq, and Thief (which doesn't even have an IMDb page yet -- did I imagine it?), starring Andre Braugher. FX has a pretty good record with its original series, so these will probably get added to the regular rotation.

As if that weren't enough, Eyes debuted last night, and it looks pretty enjoyable. Plus, Lost and Desperate Housewives are back with new episodes, after both taking several-week long hiatuses.

DAMN! Even Chauncey Gardiner would tell me, "You watch too much TV."