MOVIES: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

I'm a bit under the weather, hence no update yesterday. And a quick one today.

What's the best comfort movie to rent when you're feeling sick? Why, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, of course. It worked for me, anyway.

If you're predisposed to liking the goofy little yellow guy, you'll like the film. If you're not, you probably won't. (Unless the idea of a bizarre live-action cameo of David Hasselhoff showing up to save the day appeals to you. And why wouldn't it?) I am, and I did.

It's the little, almost throw-away lines and moments that make SpongeBob such an appealing cartoon character. For example, at the beginning of the movie, SpongeBob is excited about a promotion he thinks he's going to get. So he goes to talk about it with his neighbor and co-worker, Squidward -- who is in the shower at the time. "We can talk about this at work!" Squidward says, appalled. Perplexed, SpongeBob replies with cold, irrefutable logic: "But there's no shower at work."

There are a couple of neat guest stars. Jeffrey Tambor plays King Neptune. Scarlett Johansson is his daughter, Mindy. I was pleased to see Mageina Tovah in a minor role, as a movie usher in the live action parts of the film; you probably don't know her name, but you might recognize her as the mousy Glynis on Joan of Arcadia, or as the (of course) mousy daughter of Peter's slumlord in Spider-Man 2. Weirdest/coolest of all, Alec Baldwin plays Dennis, the bounty hunter out to squash SpongeBob and Patrick.

Also, did you know Clancy Brown was the voice of Mr. Krabs? He's probably best known these days as Brother Justin on Carnivale, but he's also done a great deal of voiceover work, most notably as Lex Luthor on the various WB cartoons. I never made the connection before; Krabs is very different from his normal voice, much higher. I just thought that was cool.

And yes, there's the Hasselhoff. A climactic battle in the film takes place on the back of Hasselhoff, complete with disturbing close-ups of his leathery skin and hairy legs. Even more disturbing is watching the Special Features on the DVD, and discovering they actually built a 13-foot tall replica of Hasselhoff to film those scenes. Shudder.

The plot is... oh, it doesn't really matter. If ever there were a film 100% pre-sold to its target audience, this is it. If I tell you, "Plankton finally gets the secret recipe for the Krabby Patty, and uses it to take over Bikini Bottom," and you have even the slightest idea what I'm talking about, you've almost certainly already seen this movie. I'd like to think those that aren't familiar with SpongeBob would still enjoy this movie... but I wouldn't bet on it.