This Week in IMDb Chatboard Idiots

I forgot to mention, when I wrote about The Incredibles, the Pixar short that played right before it, the Oscar-nominated Boundin'. Did that show in every theater?

It's a cute little story, narrated in half-spoken/half-sung rhyme, about a sheep who loves to dance, until his wool gets sheared and the other animals make fun of his new look. Along comes a jackalope, who teaches the sheep not to be ashamed, and to bound with uninhibited joy. The end. It's a slight tale, but fun, and the character designs, especially on the jackalope and the poor naked sheep, are a real kick.

But it would seem not everyone feels that way. In fact, a surprising* number of IMDb reviewers and message board posters have worked themselves into hate-filled, venom-spewing balls of rage over this cute little cartoon. Let's go to the idiots!

tedg starts us off with his semi-coherent conspiracy theory review:

In other words, 'Incredibles' is great because it subtly sticks its finger in the eye of old fashioned parenting. But at the same time, it depends on getting those old fashioned parents to enthusiastically bring their kids to the screen time and time again. How to protect the investment?

Why simply tack on a short that has a moral and doesn't pull the rug out from under it. Make it cheerful and clear. Don't spend much money on the animation, in fact, the more like an old Disney project the better. After all, this is an election year where at least half the US has been artificially sensitized to 'moral values.'

This by itself is dreadful, simplistic, dangerous moralizing, of the Hallmark feelgood variety, very much in the mainstream of protestant teaching of all persuasions: accept injustice and be happy because God probably intended it that way.

But seen as a preemptive strike, it masterful provides cover for the more subversive rattling of 'Incredibles.' A little arsenic makes the sugar go down.

A cartoon about a sheep learning not to be bummed out for being different: "dreadful, simplistic, dangerous moralizing". Pixar has allied itself with George W. Bush and organized religion to brainwash America's children -- am I wrong, or is that not the gist of this review? Pretty impressive for a five-minute cartoon. You frickin' loony.

clodelrath continues on the message boards, in the simply-titled thread "BAD!":

This short was so terrible I almost walked out of the theater, thats right i would have missed whatching the Incredibles just to stop the pain. I almost burst into tears with how bad it was hurting my brain. A tip to anyone going to see the Incredibles use this 5 min to go get yourself popcorn.

When one poster sensibly enough suggests chilling the fuck out, the most likely aptly-named StalkerMan steps up to the plate:

Are you serious? how do you think this was cute OR set the tone for the Incredibles? the Incredibles was an incredible movie for all ages whereas boundin' was a 5 minute long mental rape. if it wasnt for watching the Incredibles afterwards i would now have some form degernative brain disease from this. i mean if you thought this was good you should really get a kick out of Barney or Seseme Street.

That's right, a cartoon about a cute little sheep = a 5 minute long mental rape. I think Barney and Sesame Street might still be a little too advanced for StalkerMan. Maybe he has a "degernative" brain disease.

Once again, we see that nothing is too innocuous or genial to drive someone insane with hatred. Thanks, IMDb Chatboard Idiots!

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*When I say "surprising," I mean "surprising for anywhere other than the idiot-infested message boards of IMDb."