TRAILER TRASH

Mr. 3000: What struck me most about the trailer for this Bernie Mac baseball "comedy" was not how stunningly unfunny it looks to be, nor what a step down this is career-wise for Angela Bassett, but that it's stolen a gimmick directly from the Bad News Bears. Bernie Mac, at first base, has concealed the ball in his glove, and when the baserunner takes a big leadoff, Bernie tags him out. That is a direct steal from one of the Bad News Bears films (I think it was The Bad News Bears Go to Japan, but it's been a while.) That's just sad. Also, any movie that still thinks it's funny to make Tom Arnold/Roseanne jokes should be taken behind the barn and shot like Old Yeller.

Exorcist: The Beginning: This one's tough to judge. The original Exorcist is an enduring horror classic, but its two sequels were for shit. And this new prequel has quite a troubled history: Renny Harlin is the third director attached to the film; John Frankenheimer quit the film a month before his death, and Paul Schrader was fired after completing the film -- the producers apparently hated his version, and hired Harlin to reshoot it with more action and violence. The DVD extras should be interesting -- they could just have one two-hour long deleted scene. Maybe I'll rent that DVD one day, but I think I'll be avoiding this in the theaters.

Blade: Trinity: This looks really dumb. But the first two Blade movies also looked really dumb, and they were both highly entertaining. This movie has the added bonus of seeing goofball Ryan Reynolds (of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place) and whiny little powderpuff Jessica Biel act like super-tough vampire hunters, which is just inherently funny to me. Plus: Parker Posey as a vampire. Nuff said. I'm there. And special note for Ian: Patton Oswalt's in this thing. Could it get any better??

Nicotina: This film is trying to capitalize on the buzz from every Latin indie film of the past five years. From the producers of Amores Perros! With one of the actors from Y Tu Mamá También! And if you squint a little, it kind of looks like City of God! According to IMDb, though, unlike those films, this is supposed to be a comedy, which I didn't really get from the trailer. Looked like just another crime film to me. Not interested.

A Dirty Shame: This could be great, or it could be a train wreck -- and considering it's John Waters directing, it might be both. Waters is returning to his perverted beginnings as a filmmaker in a big way with this NC-17 rated film. I was shocked by the stuff they showed in the trailer, which only hints at the deeply twisted depravity waiting in the real thing. I can't wait. No matter what, I am seeing this film. On a sidenote: Selma Blair is one of the stars. She also was in Storytelling. Now, I don't know if she's the only actress ever to appear in two NC-17 films, but if she's not, I bet you could count them all on the fingers of one hand. I just find that interesting.