Monday, November 07, 2005

MOVIES: Coming Soon: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot: Part the Second

I've got a problem with Sylvester Stallone's plans to star in Rambo IV. Above and beyond the very fact that Sylvester Stallone plans to star in Rambo IV.

No, my more specific problem is with the film's title: Rambo IV. I was similarly bothered when Rambo III came out 17 (!) years ago. What bothers me is that there was no Rambo I. The original film was called First Blood. The second film got it right: Rambo: First Blood Part II. But the third film decided to pretend the "First Blood" thing never existed, and dropped it from the title.

While I'm at it, two other title changes that bug the hell out of me: the first Star Wars film was not called A New Hope. It was fucking called Star Wars!! I don't care what changes Lucas made in later releases, Star Wars is Star Wars. I swear to all that is holy, if you refer to that film as A New Hope in my presence, I will smack the living daylights out of you.

Also: I don't care if it was Lucas, Spielberg, both, or neither, but whoever decided to retitle Raiders of the Lost Ark as Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark on the DVD package deserves a swift kick in the giblets.

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Leave well enough alone, damn your eyes!!

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