TV: The Amazing Race

SPOILERS AHEAD, if you're even slower to getting around to watching the episode than I was.

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I thought this week's two-hour premiere of The Amazing Race 7 was extremely promising, in contrast with the disappointing previous season (although I will say two hours is too long to stretch out one elimination -- I found my thoughts wandering frequently during the second hour). I liked, or at the very least did not dislike, a majority of the teams this time around. It's much easier to enjoy a reality show when not every single person on it is a raging asshole.

I was sad to see Ryan & Chuck eliminated, as they were my early favorites. The best part of the show was when they were introducing themselves, and Ryan was going on and on about how the other teams were going to underestimate them as a pair of dumb hillbillies, and he's drawling in his thickest, cornpone-iest accent, and Chuck simply looks at the camera and deadpans, "I concur." That had me in hysterics. They would've been a very entertaining team to watch. I mean, Chuck was fluent in Portuguese? What's that all about??

Then there's Rob & Amber. The other teams are out to get them because they've already won on Survivor, and I can hardly blame them. But I like R & A, and hope they stick around for a while. After a rocky start -- Rob couldn't figure out how to open the trunk of the car, which just goes to show you it's a very different set of skills required on this show -- they showed they could pull together as a team and grind out the tasks in short order.

My early least favorite team is the one that won this leg, Debbie & Bianca. They're the ones who told POW Ron & Beauty Queen Kelly to dig in the wrong sand pile on the beach, for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I can understand -- and in fact, heartily endorse -- lying to and misdirecting other teams when the race is on the line. But Debbie & Bianca were already on the first flight, and there were no more seats left on it. What point was there to intentionally telling Ron & Kelly to look in the spot with tickets on the third flight, rather than the second flight? It didn't help them a bit; in fact, it hurt them, because they're now going to be widely regarded by the other teams as bitches who can't be trusted. Way to go, dumbasses! Also, Debbie's whining and bitching and moaning and giving up at the llama challenge was far too reminiscent of Flo (who is still the most horrible person ever to win a reality show -- in fact, she may be the most horrible person ever to compete on a reality show). Hate them.

Speaking of those flights, I didn't care for the way the airport delay was resolved. The second flight was delayed due to mechanical problems, so all the teams on that flight simply transferred over to the third flight. Part of this game is dealing with unfortunate complications in travel, such as slow taxi drivers (which helped get Ryan & Chuck eliminated), or, yes, flight delays. Under normal airplane circumstances, they would've been free to try to get on whichever flight they could, but in this instance, there was a specific challenge they had to undertake, which assigned them specific seats on specific flights. If the second flight was delayed, that should've been their tough luck, and they should've had to wait it out. (If it was cancelled -- which they never said it was -- but if it was, that's another story.)

I loved how the old folks, Meredith & Gretchen, were the only people to excel at the llama challenge. Meredith led, pulling the leashes on two llamas, while Gretchen gently swatted them with the clue envelope from behind to get them moving. It worked like a charm, like they had been herding llamas their whole lives, while the other teams struggled and made stupid choices (such as Uchenna & Joyce and Ryan & Chuck each only leading one llama at a time to the pens). Way to go, fogeys!

Let's see, who haven't I mentioned yet?

Lynn (of gay couple Lynn & Alex) reminds me of Marshall on Alias.

Ray (of on-and-off daters Ray & Deana) could pass Debbie as my most hated person this season. Deana's gasping for breath at the 11,000 foot altitude, and Ray's barking, "Suck it up! Suck it up!!" Yeah, that helps, jackass. Also, Ray made a big point of announcing that he was "very competitive" at the beginning of the show. We, the home viewers, know by now that "very competitive" translates to "stupid prick".

Brian & Greg seem like enjoyable goofballs. They may be my second favorites. They just need not to be distracted by Megan & Heidi, who are sportin' some bodacious implants. Bless their silicone-shielded hearts.