Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Douchebags on Parade

You're all a bunch of smart, nice people, so I'm assuming you're already aware of this. But I feel the need to make it perfectly clear.

Douchebag Central

If you watch Phenomenon tonight, even ironically, you are a bad person. There is no middle ground. This may seem unreasonably judgmental to some of you. I only put it in such stark black and white terms because I am so very right, and if you watch this show, you are so very wrong.

O.D.: Original Douchebag

"Mentalist" Uri Geller was debunked as a fraud decades ago, most famously on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. That he retains an ounce of credibility indicates the willful gullibility of a large percentage of the American populace. I mean, if we'll swallow a fake war, what's a little spoon bending? But make no mistake (to use a favorite phrase of one of the architects of that fake war): Geller is a charlatan, a con artist, a defrauder of the simple-minded. Supporting this show supports his vile duplicity. Period.

Kid Douchebag: He's younger, but so very much douchier

I don't know near as much about Criss Angel, and I don't really want to. As far as I can tell (and I may be wrong), he's fairly straightforward about the fact that he is performing illusions, not using genuine extrasensory powers. I just think he's a total douche.

I implore you, and I assure you I am 100% serious: be a good person. Do not watch this show.

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