"Now, I'm not saying..." = LEGAL DISCLAIMER
How can I put this nicely? Oh, wait, I can't.
This is addressed to those people who habitually stake claim to being "first" commenter on any particular online post, as frequently happens on MySpace, or over at the AV Club:
Even if you're trying to be funny or ironic, you need to face this fact: your life is worthless, and you should remove yourself from humanity. Now, I'm not saying you should kill yourself. But... it's an option.