Gone Debauchin'

Today's TV highlight: The Knights of Prosperity, one of last season's few bright spots, sitcom-wise, returns from its early and indecorous removal from ABC's schedule, to burn off the few remaining episodes over the next couple weeks. Tonight, two never-before-seen episodes air, at 8:30 and 9:30 Pacific time. (Or at least, we all hope they air; ideally, ABC will not pull a Fox network dick move: "Hey, wanna see the last episodes of Drive? Tune in July 4! No, wait, how about July 13! No, wait, how about screw you!!")

Today's real-life highlight: My birthday! I am 37 years young today, by which I mean 37 years very very old. I don't have any specific plans -- and as Patton Oswalt says on his new album, I shouldn't even be allowed to celebrate this birthday; once you're past 21, he says, you should only celebrate the new decade birthdays, which means I'm out of luck until 40. But the hell with him! I'm a-celebratin', one way or another. In fact, if you wish to leave lavish praise and well wishes and confessions of love for me in the comments, I will condone it.

And I'm off! To where, I don't know. But I guarantee Jack Daniels and Guinness are already there.