TV: Scrubs

Hey, NBC is sneaking the season premiere of Scrubs on the air tonight! Those crafty little monkeys! I wasn't expecting it until next week. Woohoo!!

All of you watch Scrubs, right? Right?!? It's only the best comedy on the air, dammit! (Currently sharing that title with Arrested Development.) You've gotta watch it. It's the new M*A*S*H. No, seriously! J.D. is Hawkeye, Turk is Trapper John, Dr. Kelso is... uh, Frank Burns -- no, Major Winchester! -- and the Janitor is a malevolent Radar. And... Jamie Farr is Klinger. Okay, the comparison doesn't quite hold. But it really is very good. Trust me.

Except I might be wrong. Because Heather Graham joins the show tonight as a recurring (eight episodes) guest star, and if there's one thing that'll ruin this show, it's Heather Graham. God, she's awful! Why do people keep casting her in comedies? Because she's pretty? I have to assume that's it. Cause she sure as hell isn't funny. Her timing is bad, her delivery is flat, her big vacant eyes always make her look like she's not even getting the joke... man, if she hadn't gotten naked in Boogie Nights, none of us would have to know who she is. She'd still be a total nobody, and that would be just great with me.

But instead, she parlayed her Rollergirl rep into actual fame. And now, as another Heather (Locklear) threatened to do before her, she's in danger of ruining Scrubs because the producers want a well-known attractive blonde guest star to increase their ratings -- who cares if she can actually act?

Ah, tune in anyway, in spite of Graham -- or maybe you like the pretty pretty girl. Then tune in because of her. Just tune in.

EDIT: Please note Scrubs begins tonight at 9:25 (that's on the West Coast). Because NBC hates you.