TV: More Olympics 2004

-- It's funny how games I wouldn't normally watch on a dare become fascinating in the Olympics. I couldn't get enough of badminton! Did you know that the shuttlecock reaches speeds of up to 200 MPH? (Heh, I said "shuttlecock.") And ping pong -- excuse me, table tennis -- is also weirdly compelling. But I keep wondering: where do they put their beers while they're playing? Shouldn't their red plastic keg cups be on the corner of the table? That's how I always played.

-- My favorite part of the women's gymnastics is the goofy little dance moves they're required to make in between doing the really cool stuff. And by favorite, I mean, "easiest to mock." Like, Carly Patterson does an amazing triple back flip on the balance beam -- and then she has to do a little hokey-pokey step while moving her arms like she's backing up Madonna in the "Vogue" video. I guess the men have to do some of that, too, but for some reason it's really blatant and distracting in the women's routines.

-- My favorite gymnast? Svetlana Khorkina. And no, not because of not-safe-for-work pictures like these (well, not entirely because of that). I just love how unapologetically arrogant she is. All the other gymnasts, before every routine, salute the crowd with two hands high in the air, arched back, posing with big, toothy, forced smile. In contrast, Svetlana merely raises one hand, brief, humorless, indifferent to the crowd, regally gracing them with the merest suggestion of acknowledgment of their presence. That rocks. She's such a delightfully cranky presence among all the other relentlessly cheerful Stepford gymnasts. Plus, she's 25, which qualifies you for an AARP card in the gymnastics world.

-- American swimmers Amanda Beard and Natalie Coughlin both have disturbingly, almost predatorially large, prominent, unnaturally white teeth. Check out Amanda's smile in this shot:



That's some set of choppers. And damn, she's got more gum than Bazooka Joe.

Just an observation. I still think they're both lovely as the day is long. Check out Natalie in my alma mater's gear:



Go Cal! And Amanda in a picture from Men's Fitness magazine:



I have no idea what that has to do with men's fitness. And it's entirely possible photos like that in men's magazines cheapen and diminish the great accomplishments of the female athletes in the Athens games. And, as it turns out, I'm all right with that. Grrrrrrowwwl.

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That's all for now. I'll try to get to soccer and basketball before the Olympics are actually over.